The Manne Family News

Christmas, part 3

2012-01-06T12:00:00.000-06:00

Still in Michigan, we went to our home church on Sunday morning. The girls were super excited that I let them wear their Christmas dresses a week early. The funniest thing about church, that I wish I had a photo of, is the fact that the preschoolers were singing in front of church that day. So, Leto and Cole ended up right up front with the other kids, singing songs they had never heard before. At one point, bells were ringing when they weren't supposed to be...but I'm sure it wasn't the visiting kids...I'm just sure of it. :)

Who are these kids on this ornament? Where have they gone?!?

The girls' table...

On our way back from Michigan, we made a quick, but so wonderful, surprise visit to my Grandma's. It was so fun to knock on her door, walk in and see the look on her face. The kids walked in like they owned the place, too. So much so, Laina had the wise men from Grandma's Nativity set giving each other kisses. Ha! My Grandma is 90 - can you even believe it? Check out these pictures...no way!!

Grandma spoiling the kids with sugary snacks and Hayden being her big helper:

On the road again, back to Wisconsin we go! Beautiful sky to light our way...

I just love this messy little face!

Christmas, part 2

2012-01-06T08:46:00.001-06:00

In the middle of December we took a trip to Michigan for the big Manne Christmas party. I am kicking myself that I didn't get more photos of the actual party! But I guess we can only handle the Christmas cuteness in smaller doses.

Don't you love Maurah's look here? She totally screams "Christmas spirit," don't you think?

And here's another one, straight at me. The problem with this child? She wanted to have her OWN photo taken...so, no, she's definitely no diva. :)

Oh, THERE we go! A smile! Merry Christmas to me.

Cole and cousin Leto decided they would get in on the picture action as soon as they heard me bribing the girls with M&Ms...gets 'em every time. :)

Sweet cousins

Rach and I were so hot in our Target boots, we just had to take a pic! LOL

At the party making reindeer food...

They look suspicious of something, don't they? I think they were closely watching wrapped presents being put out, as any good Christmas detective would!

Maurah was Grandma's snuggle bug at the party...so sweet.

Laina's favorite part? The chocolate!!! I'm telling you, I'm totally rubbing off on these kids in all the right ways.

Okay, this one needs an explanation. The adults had the kids downstairs while we did our gift time together. The game: bring a gift, white elephant style or nice, wrap it up and put one word on the label that describes the gift. We then auctioned each of the gifts off, based on the word, and raised money for a family whose house had burned down. The kids ended up coming upstairs in a line, as if we were being invaded! The sat right down and, all of the sudden, started raising their hands for the bids, bidding their parents' money. It was hilarious! So this photo just cracks me up.

I'm sure these girls will just love that they're the grand finale to this blog post but aren't they just pretty? I love them. And I love this picture.

More Christmas fun to come! Are you tired of it yet?

Christmas, part 1

2012-01-05T14:34:00.001-06:00

I have been meaning to post about Christmas for quite some time now but, to be honest, it's been pretty overwhelming just thinking about sorting through all of our photos! I know I need to do it though, because I will absolutely regret it if I don't have it on here to remember actual memories that go along with the pictures.

We'll start with the pre-Christmas activities:

This picture has nothing to do with Christmas but it was taken in the beginning of December. I just think my baby is stinking cute and cannot believe how big she's getting. That's all. :)

Another thing we did that has nothing to do with Christmas is we made our own puffy paint. I got the idea from Pinterest. I have to say, the instructions were definitely right when they said it would be watery. We did NOT have the right paper for this! But it gave us a good hour of fun so it was totally worth it.

I don't have a picture of Maurah because she was in her underwear that day (if you've read this blog at all before, you should know my kids much prefer their skivvies to their clothes!) but this is her arm reaching across to Cole's arm and I got a picture of THAT because, with four kids 5 years old and under, sharing is a big deal!

Now, onto some Christmas posts! We made sugar cookies together and I let the kids cut theirs out on their own this year. Time consuming, but fun!

Laina just woke up from a 3 hour nap! I love her yawning on Jake's lap:

I love these photos of Laina because Cole had her cracking up doing the silliest things.

Then, when I asked her to smile for a picture with him, she looks pained, doesn't she? Apparently, Mommy is not at ALL as funny as her brother.

A Shrek Santa princess right here - yep, we let all kinds into our family!

Our Thankful Tree from November...it became a Thankful Stump halfway through the month and it took me almost until Christmas to take it down. I had high hopes of doing something similar for December, but...next year!

I was able to go into Cole's classroom and help decorate gingerbread houses. Pretty sure he ate more of the candy on his plate than he got on his house...my kind of kid. :)

After I let this happen, I visited multiple friends' homes where they kept the gingerbread houses as decorations and did not let their kids eat it because, by then, it was all stale and yucky. Apparently, our family motto is "If it has sugar, it's a free for-all."

This was just the first of many Christmasy sugar highs to follow!

Merry Christmas, Grandma!

2011-12-24T11:41:00.000-06:00

We did our Christmas card digitally this year but my Grandma reads this blog and I really wanted her to see it. So if this is the fourth or fifth time you've had to look at this, my apologies!

But Merry Christmas, Grandma! We love you!

Iphone photo overload

2011-12-15T14:22:00.000-06:00

While the girls are down for a nap today, I've decided it's about time to clear off my Iphone and share some photos! Man, there are some great times captured on that thing. Here's what I found as I scrolled down memory lane... (did you catch the pun? I supposed it'd be even more clever of me if I didn't point it out, huh?)

This was in April right after we first moved to Wisconsin and lived in the farmhouse. Maurah took this and I think she did a pretty great job!

Maurah also took this one of Hayden waiting ever so patiently while we were at a doctor's appointment. I'm not so sure I won points for mom of the year with my daughter rolling on the dirty floor but we made it out of that office with no tantrums so that was a huge deal.

One of our very great friends here took our kids out for a couple of hours for me when we moved into our new home here. Little did I know that she took them all throughout town..the library and the police and fire station where the kids got to meet the firefighters and check out their trucks and gear. How cool is that?!?

This was the sky on our way to our first drive-in movie.

And our first drive-in movie was Cars 2!

Hayden

These next few pics are from a day where I decided the kids and I would walk to Cole's school to play at the park...I wasn't exactly prepared as it was an over 90 degree day and I had zero water or money with me...I think by the time we got to the park, we spent maybe 15 minutes playing and then came back to our air-conditioned home. Again, probably not a mom of the year moment, but we survived. ;)

This is the "Quit taking pictures and just help me off of this thing!" look.

This picture of Hayden cracks me up. The girl is limber, that's for sure!

And this is the, "Quit taking pictures...I'm hot, tired, and it's DEFINITELY time to go home" look.

So we got on our wheels and made it back home...l o n g e s t w a l k e v e r

Baking chocolate chip cookies!

Laina's tantrum because we ran out of dough...is it kosher to take pics of your kids' tantrums? I hope so because there are a couple more on here! ;)

Shirtless wonder Maurah...taken by Hayden

My sweet friend's new baby Benjamin! I got to meet him for the first time on our trip to AR for another friends' wedding!

And I captured him...I pretty much asked to hold him any chance I got that weekend. He looks a little alarmed in this pic I think! Probably wondering who the crazy lady was that kept kissing him! Ha!

Very typical Maurah...I love it.

Beach day!

I love how Hayden has her legs crossed here.

Sweet shades

Look, Mom! Double fisting the pacis!

Girls' night and birthday party at church

Two crazies who I love stole my phone. :)

This pic was taken by one of the kids of course, but I love it because it shows my life...dishwasher open, baby in arms, another child hanging on my legs...I look at this and it makes me happy. Which makes me even happiER because it means I love my life. And that's just awesome.

This was one of Maurah's wedding days :)

Hayden is rockin' the tan lines here

Cole made his own ABB pattern out of cubes and wanted a picture to email to his teacher and was so proud...although you can't really tell from his expression

Sisterly love!! So weird to think that someday they'll have their pictures taken like this with their real babies...

Not the most flattering of me, but this was a fun time taking pics with the girls on the couch.

This is when Laina fell asleep on Cole's floor in the middle of throwing a tantrum because we ran out of candy corn. Do you notice a connection with this girl and sweets?

Another fit pic...this was one of Laina's very first time outs...I just think her fancy dress and her actions are a hilarious combination.

Pretty Hayden in my heels, with her baby in arms. This girl will make a seriously chic mama one day.

I'm pleased to report that Laina survived her time-out :)

Jasmine Star...I love her! I was SO excited to get her magazine and these sweet hair clips for a photo shoot I have coming up on the very same day. Happy Mail Day to me!

Jake's and my first date since Laina was born! It was AWESOME! We went to downtown Milwaukee to this really cool - grownups only - restaurant. So thankful we got to do that!

Maurah helping make the apple pie for Thanksgiving dessert

Laina is learning the "Maurah pose"?

We love baking!

Sweet sisters...and always wearing their "fancy" skirts.

My first Pinterest creation...a hair tie home made out of an oatmeal container. I'm still loving it!

My second Pinterest creation...Christmas shirts for the girlies!

And fingerpainting...always a fun adventure :)

So that's it! I saved you from the 82 photos of our walls and tables and floors that the girls took when they confiscated my phone at different times. If you're really interested in those, then you're truly a Manne stalker! :)

a messy house and so much more

2011-12-08T14:45:00.000-06:00

The other day I was cleaning up the house and I was incredibly proud of all I had done. The house was a mess before the boys left for the day and the girls and I made even more messes with our playing and baking as the day went on. I found myself thinking, "I wish Jake could have seen exactly how messy this was so he knew how much I really accomplished today." (Because yes, I'm incredibly mature like that.)

But that thought started me on a few more. Like how we really can't appreciate the beauty of things if we haven't seen the messy condition they started in. Or how we tend to take something's - or someone's - beauty for granted if we've never seen the chaos within.

I know that in my life, God has brought beauty from the messy...from my ever wandering heart in high school, from being away from my family for 7 weeks in a hospital bed only to have the girls in the NICU for almost 3 more months. From Jake and I struggling so badly in our marriage that I thought I would never be able to look at him and even like him again. From living in a place for four years where I never had friends that really knew me...really knew me...pretty much until the end and the loneliness that came from that time.

Yet, in all of this, I grew more than ever before. God redeemed every messy, hurtful situation with a beautiful provision.

In high school - He showed me His love and protected me from so many hurts. He eventually gave me a husband who also knew His love and would love me as God calls him to.

In the hospital - He healed my body, gave me new friendships, gave me strength that I never had to rely on before (I now feel like I can take on the world!), and above all, gave me two healthy girls that bring me joy every day. I look into their faces and I see no sign of the fight they faced when they first graced this planet. Except for a small scar on Hayden's arm from the pic-line placed to save her life, you would never know they had such obstacles to get through as infants.

In my marriage - He showed me how to persevere, to forgive, to ask forgiveness, what it means to truly let go of the past and to have a humble heart. Our marriage is better than ever.

In friendships - He taught me that He is the first One I should turn to above all else, but that I also need to put myself out there a bit more. People won't want to open up to me if I'm constantly a closed door to them. He gave me incredible friendships there and I've been blessed with so many new friendships in our time here already.

All of this is to say that I've seen God make a lot of beauty out of ashes in my only 28 years of life. Sometimes I think we strive to have a "no-hurt life" where people are always kind to us, say exactly what we want them to, we're always healthy and so is everyone we love. We want money to always be flowing in and no stress in any way. It seems like that would be truly receiving God's blessing.

But that's not when God is at His best.

If everything in the world worked out perfectly and we never had to depend on Him for anything, how much more would we take Him for granted? If people were always kind and faithful to us, being exactly what we needed when we needed it, how much more would we deny our relationship with Him?

The last two years, I've prayed something pretty bold throughout the year. It's this simple statement: "Lord, do whatever You need to do to draw me closer to You." This can be a scary thing to pray because it's often in the hard times that we draw nearer to God. But I absolutely believe and know that it's after those hard times (and sometimes within them as well) that we can see the beauty that God had in mind for us the entire time.

I'm not saying pray for disaster and calamity to take over your life! But I am saying that maybe we shouldn't be so quick to want an escape route.

Maybe God is doing something incredible inside the chaos.

It's after the storm that a rainbow is reflected.

It's after they start to die that fall leaves are so rich and beautiful.

It's after a hard, dead winter, that the buds and blossoms and green grass almost hurt our eyes, they're so rich with color.

And it's after we fall that He can pick us up. I pray that every time He picks us up, we can see from His perspective. That His redemption and restoration of our trials in life will shine so much brighter than the messes. That we appreciate that beauty...His beauty.

My prayer for me. And my hope for you. :)

matthew 3:16-17

2011-12-06T14:09:00.000-06:00

For the last few weeks, I've been doing Beth Moore's 90 day study on Jesus for my quiet time in the morning. At first, I have to admit, I struggled with it because I'm used to doing her "regular" Bible studies in the morning which prove to be intense and long. In this 90 day one, I often only read a verse or two of Scripture, answer a couple of questions and then read a little synopsis she's written. My initial impression was, "Really? What am I going to get out of this when I'm barely reading anything?"

But was I ever wrong. Funny thing...God can use even just a few words from His Word and challenge me throughout my day. He has already done this multiple times through this study, even with my negative attitude. This morning was one of those mornings that I pulled a lot from the words laid on those pages.

Here is the text:

"As soon as Jesus was baptized, He went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased." Matthew 3:16-17

One of the questions asked was about receiving a father's blessing and what kind of mark that leaves on a person whether they have received it or not. Since Jake and I work in youth ministry, we see daily the difference a loving father makes in the life of his child. We've seen both the blessings and, really, the curses, if you will, that come from a father and his abundance or lack of love and support. A child with a father's love tends to be full of respect for his/herself and has confidence to face the world. A child without a father's love tends to face this world constantly looking for something to fill that void. Obviously there are exceptions to this, but this tends to be the norm.

It's also been researched that the filter we view God through is the same filter we view our fathers through. So, if your father was loving? God is loving. If your father was abusive? God is messed up and full of wrath as well. It's such an interesting parallel and one I'm not really diving into today, but it just brings a little more light to what I'm thinking through this afternoon.

Beth pointed out that on this particular day, as Jesus began His ministry, God opened up heaven...a place Christ hadn't seen for a long time...about 30 years to be exact! She also pointed out that Jesus probably wasn't audibly hearing the Father's voice every day since God called him to sympathize with us here on earth so this was an incredibly special moment for him. She writes,

"So the audible voice of His Father sounding forth at His baptism must have just fallen on Jesus with the dearest of familiarity. This was the love of His life. I want to think that through the night, He replayed that voice and blessing in His own mind a thousand times. "He loves Me. Life is hard here, but He's proud of Me. I have the blessing. I have the blessing."

These are of course not words found in Scripture but I love her idea of what Jesus may have thought after not being with His Father for so long.

Don't we all need that? A boost to know we're doing okay? And where do we turn to get that boost?

I know in my own life, it's to two people...my husband and my dad. Sure, I have friends, my sister and sisters-in-law, even my mom to tell me that I'm doing a great job. But for some reason, it's from these two men in my life that I receive the greatest blessing when they let me know that they're behind me and they have my back.

It made me think what kind of parents Jake and I are and whether or not we're offering this kind of love and acceptance to our kids.

So this morning, my journaling was this:

"God, thank You for the kind of Father You are. I love that when Christ began His ministry, You made sure to open Heaven to let Him know how You loved Him and approved of Him. So many kids today don't have that from their parents. Please remind Jake and I to be that for our kids - to be their #1 supporters and encouragers, especially when rough roads lie ahead. Help us to encourage the kids in the ways You've made them and not for our own gain. (That's such a biggie, isn't it?!?) Thank You for setting such an example of love for Your Son - and that it's something practical that we can do for our kids too. You are so awesome and I'm so blessed You're my Father too!"

I want my kids, throughout each of their days, to be able to say, "They love me. Life is hard here, but they're proud of me. I have the blessing. I have the blessing." And, ultimately, my prayer is that they will be able to repeat this same thought about their Father in heaven because of the love and approval we've extended to them.

I think this is probably one of the greatest blessings I can give to the little blessings God has given me.

intention vs. direction

2011-12-01T13:34:00.000-06:00

I heard a quote somewhere before and it goes like this:

"Direction, not intention, determines your path."

It's a simple statement but one that's really hit me between the eyes as of late, especially when it comes to relationships. Specifically, I'm thinking of my husband and kids.

My intention, of course, is to always love them, have them know that I love them and to always be a source of encouragement in their walks with God. My intention is to have a family who loves God completely and to allow Him to use me as a tool for that to happen. My intention is to have kids who are influential, hard working members of society who have a passion for things that are just and, above all, that they would love God and love others. These are the things I dream about when I think of my family and my hope of what we'll be.

But my intention isn't what gets me there. It's the every day choices I make that determines the direction I'm headed.

I have to ask myself, have I been heading toward this direction with the way I've parented my kids so far?

Has God been a part of our every day so that He's naturally a part of their every day when they're away from me?

Have I spent time with them that is full of both quantity and quality?

Do I allow them to just be themselves and engage in their worlds rather than expecting them to join me in my own?

Have I exposed them to seeing needs around them or (I'm waiting for the gasps on this one!) even allowed them to be needy by not stepping up and providing for them but allowing God to answer their prayers instead?

Have I been sensitive to the needs of my family and truly sacrificed and worked to ensure that they feel loved and supported?

You see, of course my intention is to have all of these things be a part of our normal lives. But when the calendar gets full and dinner is going and kids are wailing and the phone is ringing and there is work to be done at every corner I turn, it's very easy to pop on the TV and not fully engage again until we say a quick prayer before bedtime and possibly read a story or two.

The choices I've been making as a mom are choices that benefit me. I'm getting my day's work done, but at whose expense? I'm answering emails and calls and making sure that photos are edited even earlier than the deadline I told my clients but it takes two or three times for my daughter to say my name before I turn away from my task to dress her Barbie. When was the last time I sat and played Barbies? Or built Legos? Or turned a movie on to snuggle in and relax together rather than checking off my to-do list in the hour and a half of time it allows?

One of the things we've made for this December is a step in the direction we're trying to go. We have made December a "no game month." This simply means that computer games and phone games and Ipad games aren't an option...for any of us. Even for me, I'm allowing myself to check email, respond to what I need to, and, if I do much of anything else, I will write a blog about my family. The people who are headed on this journey with me.

Hopefully, I'll have lots to write about playing dress-up, playing board games, coloring and running around outside. And hopefully in this little step, it will lead to another little step and then another and another...until I'm completely intentional with the direction of our course.

How about you? How does this relate to your work? Relationships? Leave a comment because I'd love to know who else is with me on this!

Kids' Quotes

2011-11-17T13:30:00.001-06:00

Here are a few blurbs of what I'm loving lately:

Maurah and Hayden are really into playing "wedding." Right now, they are in the living room, all dressed in big, flouncy dresses, Maurah as the prince and Hayden as the princess, twirling each other around and around while Hayden sings a made-up song at the top of her lungs. It is so fun to watch them have each other to play like this together. They are SO into this, that while Maurah and I were on our date the other night at Joann Fabrics, she asked if we could please go down the "dress aisle" A.K.A. the silky, frilly material aisle. As we walked through all of the tulle and lace, she showed me every dress that she wants to wear when her prince comes to marry her. I just smiled and soaked up that bit of sweetness with her, hoping she settles for nothing less than a prince to sweep her away, but knowing the reality that at least one broken heart awaits her in her future, as it did for me and most other women who have ever lived and loved. I'm savoring these innocent moments with the girls and their first, imaginary loves.

Laina is really into giving loves and hugs right now. This morning, she came up and squeezed me as hard as she could and then said, "And a kiss!" To get real kisses from her is a huge treasure! She either turns her head away or licks you right now, so dry lips puckered is a real treat! :) She also walks around wearing a big tutu much of the day. My very talented cousin made two tutus for the twins when they were little and Laina has claimed Hayden's as her own! Whether in jammies or clothes, there is that tutu right on top! She's worn it while we carved pumpkins, she's worn it to church, she's worn it to pick up Cole from school. She walks around saying, "Look at me, I'n a pin-thess!" I smile just thinking about it. :)

Cole comes home every day from school and gives me a humongous hug. I love that guy so much. I already look at him and see absolutely no sign of baby in him and realize how much faster these years are going to go now that he is in school and the majority of his day is spent outside of the house. I love watching the independence he's gaining and the way he so easily makes friends at school. His personality has so many similarities yet is so different from mine. I had a very small group of close friends because I was so shy and never did I dare to meet anyone from a different grade or even a different class. He has friends in every single Kindergarten class and also has befriended some first graders! He's totally comfortable in his own skin and loves to be social. He's into making up stories (his imagination is incredible!) and telling jokes. The latest joke is this: Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow---MOO!! Jake and I have heard this probably 100 times in our lives but still laugh every time Cole says it because 1) the kid can really "moo" and 2) he is cracking up himself and it's hilarious to hear him giggle like that!

Maurah, Hayden and I were playing a game of Memory today and Maurah was so excited. I said, "Maurah, do you like playing games?" "Mm-hmm," she responded. Then she said, "And I love to smile. Smiling's my favorite. Just like Buddy the Elf!" I think I've been letting her watch ELF a little too much lately but I LOVE that she can quote it!

We've been doing a thankful tree in our dining room where the kids add a leaf of something they're thankful for every night. Our leaves range from going to church, to what Cole played at recess that day, to Laina's multitude of leaves that say "Merry Christmas!" She said it the first night, got some laughs and has said it every night since. We're excited to see at the end of the month just how many leaves of hers say something about Christmas on them! Ha! I am LOVING this and want to find a way to do something similar all year round. If we forget to do it, they are right there telling us about it. It's so nice to walk into our home and see all of our blessings posted on the wall. Such a great visual to remember the kind of perspective we should have each day!

Things the little kids say that I don't want to correct:

The girls say "I have the cough-es" when they cough a little bit. It's just so cute how they emphasize the end of the word.

They also ask for chapstick because they have the hiccups. Not sure where they came up the idea that chapstick was to soothe hiccups, but I laugh every time they ask for it!

Laina makes the pig's sound any time she sees a pig and says, "Koink! Koink!" It's way too adorable for words.

The girls are really into watching Cole either play computer games or listening to him read. Whenever they ask if they can watch him, he responds with, "Yeah! Sure, hun!" I wish I could convey his voice when I type this out and hope I never forget it. It's a little bit higher pitched than how he normally talks but is filled with love and excitement because it makes him feel really special too, that the girls would want to watch him.

These kids are so awesome. I love their personalities and how they're all so different but we make up such a tight-knit family. I hope and pray they stay such great friends forever.

A Fall Day

2011-10-29T20:14:00.000-05:00

beach baby

2011-09-27T13:57:00.005-05:00

Laina absolutely loved the beach this year. I am loving her in this little ruffly swimsuit and realizing that this is the last summer of any diaper bottoms during our beach days! I just want to squish her, she's so cute!

On a mission somewhere...

My favorite picture of the summer...

getting back to the basics

2011-09-27T13:01:00.003-05:00

Hello, old friend. It's so nice to be back and writing about life. My life. I've found myself getting caught up in this new world of photography where I've been spending more time editing photos of other peoples' families and realize that I've been leaving aside the very reason that I chose to learn photography in the first place - - - to document our life.

I've been really overwhelmed with the speed of life lately. In two Saturdays, my youngest is turning 2, leaving behind the world of anything "baby" and officially entering the world of "toddler." How did this happen?

It's easy to get caught up in the "mommy guilt." Our family has been just trying to survive and make it through these last couple of months and I'm ready to slow down and thrive, making it through well instead. The very people I want to give my all to are the ones who get the very least once I'm done giving to others. I'm SO ready for that to be different. I'm planning a little inside retreat of sorts for myself starting this October. My goal is to step back and to take note of life...to try and appreciate the every day moments, even those that feel like they're leading me toward insanity!

We have had some awesome moments this summer and I haven't yet taken the time to stop and relish in those delights. Our kids are growing at rapid speed and much of that has happened over this past summer. Cole is in full-time school, the girls are completely coming into their own and finding their own personalities and I fear that I might look back on this time years down the road with a big question mark of what life was like and a heart filled with regret.

All of this is to say that I'm getting back to the heart of why I began this blog in the first place.

To remember.

Already, I have looked back at previous posts and learned and relearned things from myself before. I've been able to see pictures of the kids and read stories that go along with them and say, "Oh yeah! I remember that sweet moment!" Or sometimes it's, "Wow! We made it through that! And in one piece! Praise God!"

I need that now. I need to see that we are doing okay and that, at the end of the day, regardless of how challenging that day was, we have each other. We are a team and we love each other more than words can say. It doesn't always feel like that and it's so easy to get caught up in the negative in the midst of the hustle and bustle. So I'm purposing to take the time to write again because this reminds me of the gifts I've been given.

Two things I've heard recently that have been incredibly encouraging and eye opening:

"It's not your job to be Christ to your kids but to model the need for Him to them." - Linda Anderson

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength." - Corrie Ten Boom

You may not know it from looking at me (and sometimes I fail to forget as well!) but this weary mom is very blessed.

It's good to remind myself of that from time to time.

Summer

2011-08-11T20:58:00.000-05:00

Things have been running at lightning speed around here this summer. Lots of changes and new things are becoming a part of our lives and lately I've been struggling to keep up with them all. If one thing gets taken care of, it seems that at least three other things come up that need some attention too. It's easy to feel like you're being swallowed up by life at times. Tonight, Jake took the kids out of the house so I could have some peace and quiet. And what do I decide to do with my time? Edit pictures of my kids, of course! They are my world whether they're in my vicinity or not! :)

Here's a recap of our summer...I'm making the photos a bit smaller than usual because there are a TON. My apologies if your computer crashes while reading this post. :)

My sister and her family, along with my parents, came for the long weekend over the 4th of July. We were having fun playing around with getting photos of her dunking. Seriously? Two kids later...she is pretty stinking awesome!

There was a 4th of July parade in the town we were living in at the time so the kids decorated bags to catch their candy.

It was sooooo great having these two buddies together.

The kids quickly learned that if they waved, they would get loaded with candy. I'm pretty sure they waved at every person that went by and the parade lasted almost two hours!

We were pretty much dying in the heat at the parade. Once we got back, we cooled down with a swim in the lake. This was the kids' first time ever in the lake. Cole wasn't so sure about it at first but was eventually out on the swim dock with my dad, Adam and A.J. I'm kicking myself I didn't get a picture of that but want to remember it for sure. The rest of us joined the guys later in the evening and I was so proud of the girls for jumping in too! We could have stayed out there all night. So sad the sun went down!

Laina walked around like this all day. Heather and I kept calling her Jane Fonda. :)

We surprised my mom and celebrated her birthday which was just a few days later. (Laina is in the house sleeping). What a fun crew!

We took the kids to their first (and mine) drive-in movie...Cars 2. This was the sun on the way there. I had to have a picture of it! Beautiful.

The drive-in had a park where kids could play until it got dark and the movie started. Laina cracked us up having to keep up with the big girls. There is no way you can distinguish her as "the baby" as much as the older kids try!

The twins also had their first time on a teeter-totter. This thing was as rickety as they come! But they loved every minute of Jake and I controlling their ups-and-downs. :)

I love the look on Maurah's face and Cole pouting in the background is a nice touch too. :)

I love this one of Laina. She melts me.

And those ankles again! I can't get enough of them for some reason! Who knew that chubby baby ankles would be my thing?!?

The kids lasted the entire movie and most of the way home. I think it was 11:30 before they were in bed!

The "no girls allowed" phase entered our house this summer. The girls were devastated but it really just makes me smile.

In a desperate attempt, I had Cole come up with some things he could do to help me around the house. While we're still working on these things, it was so awfully cute what he came up with and his little signature at the bottom is so precious.

More recently, I had the privilege of second-shooting some very dear friends' wedding in Arkansas. We got to do the road trip with our best friends. It was definitely a weekend not to be quickly forgotten!

We had some great visiting time (even if only a day) in Michigan when we got back to pick up the kids. I got to get my hands on this little guy (our nephew) and couldn't have been happier about it. He's growing way too quickly!

Apparently, ragamuffin hair is a much needed accessory for this summer, didn't you know? :)

I love this. I think they were all coming up with a game at this point but they all seem a bit lost in thought, don't they?

I love this picture because it's my little buddy who came to snuggle on the hammock with me:

I'm thinking the sun was bright...Popeye! :)

Yes, this is what matters. Now we are looking ahead to fall which brings about even more changes, most noticeably, Cole being in school full-time. Tomorrow is our last day at home to have the whole day as a family before the fall schedule is in full swing. The lunchbag is here, our ordered school clothes will be delivered Saturday and before you know it, we'll be carving pumpkins and watching football! I'm not a huge fan of summer, but these faces were definitely enjoyed this season.

Happy Birthday!

2011-06-29T22:00:00.001-05:00

This weekend we celebrated Jake's 29th birthday!

Since my Father's Day picture debacle posted here, I made sure to get some good shots of my man and our kids together.

We were waiting and waiting to have Jake's birthday treat. He isn't much of a cake guy so we made him Reese's Peanut Butter bars instead. We couldn't wait any longer so we had them for a before-lunch snack...and yes, I won the "Cool Mom Award" from my kids for that! :)

Apparently, instant gratification was the theme of Jake's birthday this year because I gave him his gift when it arrived earlier in the week! I was so proud of myself because I was very sneaky, ordering him a t-shirt from Mendmark that he had seen and wanted a couple of weeks before. I deleted the receipt from my purchase, and even cleared our Internet's history so he'd never know what I got him. Just call me Lois Lane. :)

Each of the kids made their very own card for Jake. This is the part that is so sweet. Here is Laina's:

The inside read, "Dear Daddy, I love our morning time together and I love when you hold me. Love, Laina." I know that's exactly what she would have said had she known the words to say it. :)

I didn't get an outside photo of Hayden's but hers was Tinkerbell. The inside is the best anyway:

Do you see all of the "H"s around the paper? That's her first letter she's recognizing and she was so proud to write them all by herself all over her Daddy's card.

Maurah's card:

Again, Maurah recognizes "M" and writes this letter whenever she can. She was so happy her Dad noticed that she wrote it all by herself!

Last but absolutely not least is Cole's:

He was so sweet how he kept going on and on about how much he loves his Dad. And then, to top it off, he wrote the "Love, Cole" in "cursive"! Did you notice that?!? What a guy.

And what a guy THIS guy is. I am thinking this is my new absolute favorite picture ever. All the people I love so much, loving a gorgeous day with each other. Life doesn't get any better than this!

Happy 29th, Jake! We love you so much!

thankful

2011-06-28T22:00:00.000-05:00

I'm so thankful for times like these because it makes me feel like I still have a baby in Laina. She is growing so quickly and I just want to hold onto this time, this age, this stage with her. It is slipping away way too fast! But seeing her fall asleep on her little couch, she's a sweet little baby still...and that makes this mom very happy.

Bikes

2011-06-27T22:00:00.001-05:00

Maurah and I scored two "big girl" bikes at a garage sale this last week. They have been begging for big bikes since they spent a week in Michigan riding their cousins'. They are pleased as punch to have them...can you tell? (And yes, helmets are on the way. :) )

Hooray for big girls!!

cups

2011-06-26T22:00:00.002-05:00

I love when the kids get so involved in their imagining that they are in their own worlds for a while. The other day, I let them get out a bunch of my kitchen things and they played for about 2 1/2 hours before moving on to something else.

They set up a bunch of cups for Cole's surprise party. Cole walked into the kitchen while the girls hid and yelled "Surprise!" when he walked back into the living room.

They played "cooking school" where they stirred about every piece of plastic food they could get their hands on, giving directions about the "wecipe" along the way.

Doesn't this look so tasty?

Even the youngest got in on it!

If I knew the fun that a few plastic cups and pie pans could provide, I'd have brought them out a long time ago!

hayden

2011-06-25T22:00:00.004-05:00

The many faces of Hayden:

And every one of them so beautiful.

Father's Day

2011-06-24T17:35:00.000-05:00

Father's Day was very special this year because we got to have Jake's dad visiting us in our new home of Wisconsin for the first time! It was so great to have both his mom and dad here for a nice overnight visit Saturday and Sunday.

They came Saturday morning and we visited for a while and then got to show them around town and headed over to a new restaurant we haven't tried yet for lunch. The food was delicious! I wish I had had my camera with me because Jake's dad ordered nachos as an appetizer and it was stacked about a foot high on this huge plate! We just laughed when the waitress brought it out and placed it right in front of him!

We gave Jake his gifts on Sunday morning and I'm so disappointed in myself because this is the only picture I have of him with the kids all day. And it's only one kid. For the whole day. Ugh.

We said goodbye to Mom and Dad Manne after church and then we headed out to lunch to celebrate Jake. I can't even tell you how much I love this man and the father he is to our kids. In a lot of ways, he's much tougher on them than I am but I can't even describe how good that is for them. And I see it in the way they cherish every bit of time they get with him. Because he's so awesome, they do get a lot of time with him...way more than most kids get with their dad. I'm so thankful for that!

I really doubt that he ever saw himself as being a dad of four at the age of 28...but God definitely knew what He was doing! Jake loves these kids so deeply and I love him more and more as I watch him parent them. From teaching Cole basketball, to helping the girls with their "big girl" bikes, and snuggling with Laina when she's sad or tired...my heart melts in it all.

I realize how blessed I am to have a husband who wants to be here for our kids. One who wants the absolute best for them and strives to be his absolute best for them. He rocks our world and our family is so much stronger because of him.

Thanks, Jake. I love you so much!

an interview with Cole

2011-06-22T15:29:00.001-05:00

What is your favorite food?
Pizza!

What is your favorite drink?
Water

What is your favorite movie?
Tangled

What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy?
Go to storage with him

What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy?
Snuggle and read books like we just did

What is your favorite thing to do with the girlies?
Play dollhouse with them

What are you scared of?
Bad dreams

What is your favorite color?
Orange and brown oh! And blue!

Who are your best friends?
Will, Leto, A.J., Sophie and Genevieve

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A police officer. I bet Will will want to be a police officer too!
Why?
Because police officers capture bad guys!

What is your favorite song?
The Springtime Song

What is your favorite book?
The Grouchy Ladybug

What do you like to do when you are by yourself?
Eat ice cream

What flavor of ice cream is your favorite?
Vanilla

Are you excited to be in Kindergarten this fall?
Yes
Why are you excited?
Because...ugh! I forgot!

What makes you happy?
When you and I and me and Dad go explore.

What's your favorite joke?
Why did the chicken cross the road? (He-he-he). Because he wanted to go to school! Oh and I've got another joke! Why did the horse hit the wall? Because he was a giant horse! Hahahaha! Oh and I've got another one! Why did the olive pass the car? Because he got hurt! Okay, I'm tired of talking. My battery died.

And I'll leave you all with that five-year old great sense of humor!

Controlling

2011-06-21T20:21:00.001-05:00

With all of my hopes and dreams of summer goals, there's one in particular that I am working on for myself. Really, it's for my whole family's benefit, but it's something that needs to happen in me. I recently read a blog (and darn if I can't remember where) that was encouraging for moms, wives and really could be applicable to any person on this planet. The question they asked was funny to me at first:

Are you a thermometer or a thermostat in your home?

I didn't understand the concept until they explained what each of these tools does. (And again, I'm kicking myself that I can't find the blog post - if anyone knows what I'm talking about, please share it because I'm sure their words were much more eloquent than mine will be!)

A thermometer reads a temperature and a thermostat controls the temperature.

As a wife, mom, human being, I have a choice each day that will affect those around me. I can just read the temperature of the situations I'm in and not be very helpful or I can do whatever I can to help set the temperature.

Right now, I see this with my kids. There are days that I wake up, ready to face the day, excited for what's in store, I've got a plan A in my hand and plan B in my back pocket if the first plan fails. I am prepared for whatever comes my way. I choose to not let tantrums, arguing and toy stealing affect my attitude. I am efficient in the housework and diligent in using my time to play and love on the kids.

There are also days where I wake up and can barely get my sleepy eyes opened enough to walk down the stairs. I am grumpy and I let this trickle down to the kids and even Jake. I'm not naturally a morning person to begin with, but these days are just plain laden with frustration. Kids are fighting, then I'm fighting and the whole house is unhappy. Once this kind of a day begins, it's hard to get it back on track.

This kind of a day would be one where I am a thermometer. I am just reading what's happening in the house and have no power in getting our out-of-control "fever" back to normal because I'm not even in a good place myself.

The first day I mentioned would be one where I'm a thermostat. I'm setting the tone in our house and doing a huge part to control areas I can to make it a more pleasant environment for all of us (through my own self-control). I find it hard to always be a thermostat because some days, I really don't look forward to what's in store. I focus on the mounds of laundry and dishes, the rut of each day and don't look for the opportunities to make the day before me a great one.

So, this is my summer goal...to have more days of being a thermostat than a thermometer. To wake each day with a better perspective (and if I don't wake with it, to get it turned around in my time with God in the morning!). To have a plan to love my kids well, encourage my kids well and keep myself centered on what's most important rather than leading with how I'm feeling at any particular moment.

I'm not sure if this is the most trackable goal but I suppose it's going to be obvious when we get "in the groove". Through much prayer, I'm working as hard as I can in this area...and not just in my own little home but in all of my relationships! Teens can do it in their schools, with their parents...parents can do it with their kids, in their jobs...spouses can do it with each other...what a blessing we would be if we learned this little (and very difficult) principle!

If anyone has any good ideas in setting a positive temperature, let me know! I always need all the help I can get. :)

Summertime...and the livin' is easy

2011-06-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

I am loving summer so far.

Today is what I would call our first day of real summer vacation. We have no plans to go anywhere or do anything and I can't tell you how great that feels!

This morning I got to enjoy listening to the kids play "camping". I zipped two sleeping bags together so they could all fit in them together. I wish I had my camera because it was quite a sight! I loved hearing them start giving each other "roles"...you know, who's the mom, the dad, etc. So Hayden ended up being the dad, Maurah was the mom and then I heard Cole say, "Alright, fine! But DON'T call me daughter because I am a son, NOT a daughter...got it?" To which the girls replied, "Okay, okay!" It cracked me up. While Hayden is happy as can be to be the dad, Cole would rather die than play a girl's part. Isn't it so funny how quickly that changes from age 3 to 5?

All of the sudden then, they all got busy building puzzles. Two of my favorite things ever for kids to do: ride bikes and build puzzles. So they get the puzzle all over the floor and I listen to Cole teaching the girls to build the outside of the puzzle first. "See how this piece has a line on it? And this one doesn't? You want the pieces with the lines first, hun." I love listening to them when they work together! Is there anything better than some love and teamwork between your kids?!?

We are all working toward having a good week this week so that on Friday (Jake's day off) we can go to the Madison Zoo for our first time. I really hope we have a good week because my favorite thing ever to do with the kids is go to the zoo! I really don't want to miss out on this trip! I'm sure I'll have tons of photos to post too. :)

I leave you with this photo of Hayden walking out of her class at Adventure Camp last week. She saw me with my camera and immediately struck a pose...what a diva! :)

Our First Last Day

2011-06-10T12:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Cole's last day of preschool! We celebrated with an end-of-year ice cream party in his class. It was fun to see Cole interact with kids who are still new to him. Surprisingly, he was pretty different than he was in his school in Michigan. I'm not sure why...maybe just the dynamic of this class? Either way, I don't think I'll ever tire of getting a peek into my boy's "other" world...that secret one that I have no idea about except from the bits and pieces I gather from my conversations with him or when I get to go and visit now and then. It's so fun to see him in a different element and I can't wait to have that experience with the girls too! (Although, the time really doesn't need to fly by any faster!)

Cole was excited to give his teachers a bouquet of flowers with a handmade card for each and a Starbucks gift card inside for a yummy treat. Sadly, I didn't get any pictures of him with his teachers because I forgot to bring my camera...grrr.

We are excited to be on summer vacation and are kicking it off with tons of visits from friends and family, VBS and a whole lot of other fun things that I'm sure you'll see on here! I've never been a huge fan of summer since I graduated high school because there wasn't much of a change for me. But now that I'm dreading September when I send my little man to school all day, I'm loving the chance I get to have all of my kids with me all day long. Sure, there will be challenges. But not having to rush them all out the door to keep on a schedule that doesn't fit our normal family routine? I'm so excited for that! And just knowing these are my last few months where I get the most time with Cole compared to anyone else? That's something I'm treasuring too.

Dear Cole,

You have grown so much this past year! I'm so proud of you, not only for finishing preschool, but for all of the changes you've endured this year. In less than one year, you have lived in four different houses (with another move happening again in July!). You have attended three different churches, two different schools, had four different teachers and many different friends and faces to get used to. You were such a brave boy when we made this last move to Wisconsin and you told me very boldly that you wanted to start school even though you knew it wouldn't be very long and that you'd be putting yourself in a position where you didn't know anybody. That first day when I walked you in, I was so proud of you for giving me a kiss and letting go of my hand, walking in with Mrs. Schrader, a teacher you had never met and a classroom you had never been. I get teary writing this, thinking of all of the changes you've had this year and you have handled them so well. You have shown me that you definitely are not my baby anymore and that you are comfortable with yourself and with meeting new people. I'm so thankful for these two things and pray that they will always be a part of your personality...that your love for yourself in God will grow and that you will love people and want to get to know them. As hard as it is to let you grow up, I know that you are already spreading your wings and doing such a great job at flying on your own in some areas. I can't wait to see what kind of a young man you become!

I love you.
Love always,
Mom

Summertime!

2011-06-10T12:03:00.001-05:00

We are about to kick off a big celebration for summer vacation around here. Seriously...not having to eat lunch at 10:30 every day and wrangle my crew of children into the 90 degree weather just to load them into the even hotter van and fight them over who gets to buckle them in with burning seat belts is NOT going to make this mom cry one bit. It's time for a HUGE celebration! :)

With all of our celebrating, we're going to mix in a few different things...particularly in the form of summer goals.

This is the first year that I'm doing summer goals with the kids. I've seen a few different articles on this in all of my Google-ing and thought it might be something good for our family to implement this year. Sooo...without further adieu, here they are!

Our Summer Goals

Megan's Goals: 1.) Blog at least once a week 2.) Do at least 2 real photo shoots in Wisconsin 3.) raise money for Ethiopia??

Cole's Goal: Learn to tie shoes

Maurah's Goal: Learn ABC's

Hayden's Goal: Learn ABC's

So those are it! Once we reach our goal, we get to treat ourselves...Cole's will probably be in the form of a new game or book, Maurah's and Hayden's will most likely be the Tangled dress-up clothes or doll, and me? I'll be treating myself to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory! Mmm...

I'll keep this blog updated on our goals! And share a comment! Do you have any summer goals? Have you ever done this with your kids before? If so, share some tips!

Enough

2011-06-03T13:02:00.001-05:00

How many days do you feel like you're not enough?

This is a struggle that I really thought I had come to terms with. One that I had beaten down and gotten over. The thorn in my flesh that I had plucked out and thrown away for good.

And then yesterday happened. All of the sudden, everything that I've been pursuing was pulled down, put on the ground, and stomped on while all I heard was, "you're not ______ enough." Go ahead and fill in the blank.

Creative enough.

Thin enough.

Patient enough.

Spiritual enough.

Kind enough.

Selfless enough.

Humble enough.

Smart enough.

Bold enough.

Focused enough.

The list goes on. Last night I just sat in this very chair I'm in right now and rambled off to Jake how I'm failing in every single area of my life. That I'll never measure up. That there's no way all of the things I hope to be will ever happen because they are all such different things. That I don't have the capacity to be what I long to be. And why?

Why do I believe all of these things that I know are lies? Why do I lower my standard and say that I am not capable of being the kind of woman, wife, mom, photographer, believer that I want to be? Why?!?

I'm doing a study with Jake and, in it, the author said something that I have been running through my mind this entire week. He says,

The gospel, if it is really believed, removes neediness - the need to be constantly respected, appreciated, and well regarded; the need to have everything in your life go well; the need to have power over others. All of these great, deep needs continue to control you only because the concept of the glorious God delighting in you with all his being is just that - a concept and nothing more. Our hearts don't believe it so they operate in default mode. Paul is saying (in Titus 2) that if you want to really change, you must let the gospel teach you - that is to train, discipline, coach you - over a period of time. You must let the gospel argue with you. You must let the gospel sink down deeply into your heart, until it changes your motivation and views and attitudes.

-Tim Keller, Gospel in Life

That's just it for me - I'm believing in a concept but not really understanding how deep the Father's love is for me. I don't wake up every day, thankful for the cross, recognizing how incredible and profound two beams nailed together really are.

This morning I read a few chapters in Romans and chapter 8 really spoke to me regarding this idea again:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am trying so desperately hard to believe this with all of me. To believe it so much that it dictates my every move throughout the day. That I let this truth sink deeply in my heart and change me.

I am prone to disbelief because I don't truly believe. I am prone to falling into lies because I don't fully recognize the truth. It's one thing to recognize how incredible God is...that, I have no problem doing. It's a whole other thing to recognize how incredible God's love is for me. It's so mind-blowing, it's hard to swallow.

The truth is, on my own, I'm not enough. But what's so awesome is that I'm not on my own. I have the living, breathing Spirit of God within me. So I don't have to get over this on my own. I don't have to depend on myself to beat down and get over this temptation. It's not my job alone to pluck this thorn out of my flesh and toss it away.

I have Someone with me who tells me that I am more than a conqueror when I find my hope and strength in Him.

I have Someone who tells me I am more than enough...I was enough for Him to die for me and, not only that, but enough for Him to rise again so I can one day be with Him forever.

I'm choosing today to marinate my heart in the gospel. I'm choosing to allow it to change me and this weak, weak faith I have. I will say that I am enough and stop comparing myself to others. Because I have a Savior who thinks I measure up just fine. He's been wanting to tell me this for a long time and I just never listened. I'm praying that changes today.

Bring It On!

2011-06-01T12:57:00.000-05:00

If this is a glimpse of what summer will bring, I can't wait.

Okay, I have to preface these next photos. My nephew, Leto, is one of the coolest guys I know. One of the things that makes him so incredibly cool is his never-ending knowledge of superheroes. What makes him even cooler is his ability to do incredible superhero moves. And what makes him the coolest is that he showed off those moves to me while I had my camera in hand. That boy knows how to win his aunt's heart!

Yeah, these last few might be more of a monkey dance...it made us all laugh though!

Okay, summer, I've decided I'm ready. You're not usually my favorite time of year but watching the smiles on these kids makes my heart melt. So bring on the popsicles, the Kool-Aid mustaches, the kiddie pools and the sunscreen. If these photos are any indication, this summer is going to be SO much fun!

Ends & Beginnings

2011-05-11T19:46:00.000-05:00

There's been a lot that has gone on in the last couple of months for us that I've wanted to document but haven't had the chance to get my thoughts together enough to do so. Well, my thoughts still aren't fully together so how about a post with a lot of photos and a few captions? Those are always my favorite anyway! :) We'll start at the beginning...or, eh, the end.

I really can't write about this experience without tearing up. But I also can't not post these photos...Cole and his best buddy, Will. We got to take Will out for a birthday/goodbye lunch the Wednesday before we moved. We then went to the zoo, which was a bit disappointing because not many of the animals were out yet. But these pictures show the bond these boys have with each other. I've never seen a friendship made faster than Cole and Will. We miss him so much! Okay, seriously...I have to stop. Here are some pics:

This last one kills me...they are the sweetest!

Cole had his last day of school at Kent City Elementary on April 14th. We said goodbye to his teacher, Mrs. Serba, whom we LOVE so much. She brought so much out in Cole in these last months together and her heart for preschoolers is incredible. We are Mrs. Serba fans for life! :)

We went that afternoon to my mom and dad's. My sister and her family came and we got to have a "last" sleepover. It was so great that they were able to spend the night on our last night in Michigan. We pulled out that next morning and Cole got to ride in the truck with Jake. Oh yeah...and not just ride in the truck...but he got to play his Leapster the whole way to Wisconsin...a boy's dream come true!

Do you think he was excited?

Our well-wishers:

Off they go!

After the most horrible moving trip I've ever had, we arrived at our new home 7 1/2 hours later and found these beautiful flowers on the dining table next to a card full of "welcomes" from the staff at Westbrook and our fridge and cabinets full of food...all gifts from our new church family and it was just what we needed!

Our new church:

Not knowing where we were moving, this was an absolute step of faith for me. God definitely blessed us with a wonderful farmhouse, more than big enough to fit our family. And the yard! We've never really had a yard for the kids to play in before...we are definitely getting spoiled! I've had a few people ask for photos of our home so they can picture us in our new surroundings...here are a few!

This is our view out that large living room window:

One of the large oak trees has a swing hanging from it so you can sit and enjoy the lake view. I snapped this shot of my mom and dad when they were here and I love it:

We have TONS of animals around us and our favorite is this one:

Breezy is our neighbors' dog and we LOVE her. I've always wanted a golden retriever and this is great because I don't have to do the work with her, I just get to love on her and give her treats now and then. She comes to visit us almost every day and every day, Laina chases her down, calling, "Bee-sy!" until she gets her to stay. What can I say? She loves animals more than people, that's very evident! :)

We have deer (which is so weird because as I typed that, four of them ran right in front of me and scared me half to death!), a "pet" groundhog and a "pet" chipmunk, and this guy has come to ruffle his feathers once or twice with a few friends of his:

We have gone on more walks with the kids these last three weeks than we probably have in the last three years. The other night, Laina walked an entire mile around the property without asking to be picked up once! We call her "Roamer" for a reason! ;) It's so great that the kids can go way far away and we don't have to worry about a thing...they love it and I love that I'm not worried about busy streets or bothering neighbors. It's a win-win for all of us!

Oh - and mud puddles are the best.thing.ever around here:

Cole's favorite thing is having a basketball hoop. So far, we've played kickball, basketball, baseball and football. It is SO fun having all of the different places to let him learn these skills and even more fun watching him enjoy it!

The transition time around here was incredibly hard...way harder than I thought it would be. After we entered the second week and nothing really changed in Cole's attitude, I asked him if he'd want to go to school. He didn't miss a beat and instantly answered yes. I, of course being the worrier mother that I am, cautioned him that it would be a new building, new teachers, new friends...it didn't matter one bit to him. I'm so thankful that he is as willing and outgoing as he is to try these new things that come his way. I know that I would have just stayed by my mom's side if it was my choice as a kid. But now, looking back, I realize that I probably missed out on a lot of fun things growing up just because I wasn't willing to take that leap of faith. Boy oh boy, am I used to taking leaps of faith now! But it's the biggest blessing to watch my children do the same. So here is Cole's first day of school in Wisconsin picture...and apparently the sun shines brighter here than it does in Michigan. ;)

He is loving school and has a spring concert this Friday where he is the Big Bad Wolf in The 3 Little Pigs. His teacher told me today that he is the best wolf she has ever seen...I will be sure to post pictures if not a video! I can't wait to see him! And I'm so thankful that we are once again blessed with great teachers for him. You couldn't keep this kid away from school if you tried!

So that's it! I hope you've enjoyed the tour of our little neck of the woods here in Wisconsin! We sure are... :)

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-10T12:53:00.001-05:00

This Mother's Day was all about keeping it real. Laina had a horrible, throaty cough that she is still fighting. She gets these colds so often and we're sort of lost here without the nebulizer that we had in Michigan. I'm thinking she struggles more than the other kids because she was born four weeks early and the doctors had questions about her lungs when she was born. I'm not sure they're as strong as they should be...but that's another story for another day. (And before anyone comments, I know the twins were way earlier than her...they still struggle with this too. Again, another story for another day. :) )

Back to Mother's Day.

Like I was saying, Laina and I stayed home from church. The house was sooo quiet as she took a nap but I was able to shower without someone barging in and I also had a cup of coffee without the threat of a kid on my lap knocking it out of my hands. It was nice...for the first hour or so. Then, it was too quiet and I couldn't wait for everyone to return home. I hate too quiet.

When everyone did get home, we sat down to a lunch of my Grandma's chicken salad recipe (Jake's and my favorite!), cold veggies and dip, chips and then we finished it off with dirt cake that the kids and I made the day before. Isn't it fun?!? The kids made that coffee filter flower too when they made the ones they sent to all of their grandmas. And of course, worms...what is a dirt cake without worms? :)

It was delicious!!

After lunch the girls laid down for naps and Cole and Jake went to work on our next project of the day: a real-life Candy Land game. The backstory on this is that Cole has been asking us over and over if we could please jump into the Candy Land game board just like they do in the chalk drawings in Mary Poppins. Finally, Jake said, "We could do it!" I saw the youth pastor gleam in his eye and knew he'd figure out a way to make it work. Sure enough, he drew the candy trail on our driveway and we played the game! He's seriously the coolest dad ever.

The kids had SO much fun and, really, so did we! At each candy stop, we got to take some candy out of the dish and munch on it throughout the game. Skittles were at the Candy Castle once you passed the finish line.

Here are the kids all on their first turn.

Laina liked walking around and taking pieces of all of the candy. However, she did not enjoy the gumdrops...after taking a bite out of every single one!

I am loving Maurah's sense of right and left on this one:

I got this sweet picture of Jake and Hayden while we were on a "potty break" for Maurah. I love them.

1st Place: Sassy Girl Maurah

2nd Place: Wild Haired Hayden

3rd Place: Cool Kid Cole - who did not have his photo taken for some reason or another

Jake played also but had bad "luck" with the cards. ("Luck" as in, I kept giving him bad ones so the kids could feel like they'd have a chance to win...I know, I know...lame. But truly, it was way more fun to watch while he was still playing!)

Here are all the Candy connoisseurs:

I was showered with cards from the kids, tissue flowers Cole made at school, pictures they colored in church and lots of hugs and "I love you, Mommy"s throughout the day. And Jake gave me a gift I've always wanted...a massage from a real masseuse! One.whole.hour to relax....ahhh....just thinking of it makes me sleepy. I cannot wait!

And here's our lovely Mother's Day picture.

Isn't it just the sweetest? Ha! Like I said, we are keeping it real! I crack up at the moms I've seen on Facebook complaining about their pics where their kids are all dressed up and maybe one isn't looking or it's just not the perfect photo. Then you have ours...Laina screaming, me in my comfy pjs and forced grins all around. :)

Ours may not be one to hang on the wall...or is it? All I know is that I will look back on this day with so much fondness and love in my heart.

Because being a mom in this family is awesome.

Cole's Bday, Part 2

2011-04-24T13:58:00.000-05:00

The long awaited for Star Wars party finally came! In a way, it was nicer to have it two weeks after Cole's actual birthday because the weather was way nicer so we got to be outside. I'm so bummed because we didn't get a photo of the food at the party, but it was all Star Wars themed: Yoda Soda, Darth's Dark Side Desserts (chocolate cupcakes) and Jedi Treats (vanilla cupcakes), Wookie Cookies, Chewie's Choice Caviar and plenty of other yummy treats.

The Darth Vader candle made it's second appearance:

Cole was thankful for many special gifts and I love this picture of him when he got to open the one he saw too soon at his best friend's house...oops! He waited so patiently for two weeks and was thrilled when those Legos were finally his to keep.

One of the most fun things was the Darth Vader pinata. This one worked by pulling one ribbon at a time and only one of the many ribbons opened the trap door to let all of the candy fall out. Apparently hitting your favorite character isn't the way to go anymore? :)

Will:

Maurah:

Hayden:

Leto:

A.J. - whose face really is behind all of that ribbon :) :

Matt:

Matt was the winner! I wish I got a shot of his face because the poor kid was so stunned when all of the candy fell out! Once he saw what it was, though, he got busy packing up his goodie bag along with the rest of the kids!

Happy Birthday, Darth Vader! There's truly no one like you. :)

Cole's Bday, Part 1

2011-04-22T19:00:00.000-05:00

It's not often you get to have two birthday parties. It also might not be often that people get sick and have to reschedule holiday get-togethers. But in our house, that's not uncommon one bit. I can't count the number of things we've had to reschedule due to someone getting sick. So when the girls took a turn for the worst the weekend of Cole's party, I figured it was just our family's luck. There was the temptation to just cancel it overall, but not only was Cole looking forward to it for a long time, I was too! There was a lot of work and heart put into his special day and I wasn't about to let that go to waste. So for the first party, it was just a family party where we had Subway (his favorite because "it's healthy") ;) and Texas Sheetcake...not so healthy, but he was still okay with it. :)

He got to open his present from Jake's parents and sister and exclaimed that he finally had a Leapster "just like Leto!" His expression was so great.

We had to give him his present too...I was waiting way too long to get him a big boy bike which he wasn't too sure about at first. However, by that evening, he was cruising around the driveway like nobody's business.

And can I just point out...how incredible do his baby blues look in these pics? I love them...and the boy who owns them!!!

Love.

2011-04-21T21:22:00.006-05:00

If you asked me whether I thought there was anything cuter than chubby legs and ankles, I'd have to say no...

..except for chubby legs and ankles in Snow White heels.

Now, there is nothing cuter.

Guess Who's 3??

2011-04-21T13:15:00.000-05:00

We got to celebrate the girls' day on their actual birthday this year which seems to never happen. We had a pizza party with all of our family...much to the girls' dismay. They wanted a "cake party" and were all too concerned that there wouldn't be any cake in sight! We did have cakes though, one for each of course.

My big 3 year-old...the baby face is quickly fading.

Princess Aurora..I mean, Maurah...showing off how old she is...we're still working on getting that pinky and thumb to stay together. :)

My favorite part of the night was singing Happy Birthday to each of them. We sing it twice, for Maurah first since she's the oldest by a minute and then following up with Hayden's turn. They sang along with us and when we got to their names, they gave the sweetest, most sincere smiles. They were both SO excited we were singing to them.

This party, along with Cole's were so special because we got to have all of the cousins there before we moved to Wisconsin. Being five hours away, we're not sure how many parties we'll be able to have together, but we can be pretty sure that both sides won't be able to make it at the same time very often. We were savoring our time together.

This is the "Mom, can you stop taking pictures for one second?" look. Nice, huh?

One of the sweetest gifts the girls received were knitted dolls from my Grandma. As soon as Maurah opened hers, she whispered to Jake, "I want to sleep with her." This was so sweet and my Grandma later told me that the name of the dolls is "Bed Buddies." How perfect is that?

I love this picture of Hayden explaining how to feed her baby a bottle to my Dad...

Happy Birthday, Maurah and Hayden! We love you!!

Trims

2011-04-20T21:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm finally getting caught up on my journaling about all that's happened. Whatever happened to the month of March by the way? Oh, that's right...it came somewhere between the three birthday parties, tons of photo shoots and packing, right? At least, I'm pretty sure it was in there somewhere!

Well, one of the most fun things that happened in March is the twins and I got to go and have a girls' time and get our hair done together. This is the very first, real haircut the girls have ever had. It was about time at the age of 3!

Have I ever written about how the girls fall asleep? They hold their stuffed elephants tight to them and roll their heads back and forth on their pillows. And when I say "roll," I don't mean a gentle rocking. No, this is what you'd see at a heavy metal concert! Sometimes I can hear them all the way in the living room, they're rocking so hard. I have no idea how they never gave themselves shaken baby syndrome. One time, when we were living with Jake's parents in Michigan and Cole was sharing a room with the girls for a while, he yelled downstairs, "Mom! You have to come here! Something's wrong with Hayden...she's shaking in her bed!" I laughed so hard, realizing he had never watched the girls fall asleep before. They have done this ever since they were tiny babies in the NICU and could move their heads around. It's one of their quirks that I love and hate all at the same time. Why do I hate it? Because I end up having to fight them while I'm tearing through their hair with a comb every morning amidst their wails that it hurts. It's not fun for any of us.

Hence the need for a major haircut. There are probably no 3 year-olds on this earth that had more split ends than my girls! Let's just say that being gentle with the combing ended a long time ago and now it's just rushing to get that horrible task of the day over with!

I was so excited when Bobbi said she could cut the girls' hair for me, last minute, the day before their birthday. Bobbi cut my hair growing up which is why it was so much fun to have her do the girls'. They weren't too sure about it when I was having mine done but as soon as Bobbi told Maurah she'd give her a Princess cut and Hayden a Tinkerbell cut, they were all about it!

Hayden went first and sat so still, grinning the whole time. She was so proud and such a big girl, I was so proud too!

Maurah was up next and I laughed watching her. That girl could not sit still if you promised her one hundred cookies! Her faces had me cracking up and it was pretty obvious she enjoyed looking at herself in the mirror too.

This is my favorite from the day:

Bobbi rewarded the girls with Peanut M&Ms and we were both thrilled to see that their hair still held some curl, although it's disappearing quickly the older they get. I've kept some of Hayden's curls in an envelope from a trim I gave her once but never got any of Maurah's, probably because I've never been able to truly put scissors to her beautiful hair...which doesn't get as tangled as Hayden's, hence Hayden having shorter hair. Now we're ready to party!

It's About Time We've Had An Update!

2011-04-20T13:18:00.001-05:00

Finally...it's naptime and I'm settling into my seat at the computer, ready to write again. Because I treat this blog as our family journal, I get sad when I'm not keeping up with it as I'd like to. I feel like I'm missing all of these great memories we're making and THAT is something I'm not a fan of!

I might start this post off by saying that this is the first of many writings I will be doing in our new home of Wisconsin! Isn't that exciting?!? I am so thrilled to finally be here and to know that we are going to make a life here for a very long time to come. The way that God has orchestrated all of these things working out is beyond me. Seriously...five days ago, I moved into a house I had never seen but just trusted that this was where He wanted us until we could find a place that would last us a while. What kind of mom in her right mind moves her kids somewhere she has never seen and knows nothing about?!? But you know what? It's perfect. It's a lovely farmhouse, on the most beautiful piece of property I've ever lived on. Our back living room window looks out onto a quiet lake and so far, in our short time here, we've seen deer, turkeys and watched two hawks screech and chase each other. This place is incredible.

The only thing I'm struggling with a bit is that our kids don't seem to be transitioning as well as I wish they would. Their behavior is out of this world. On Sunday, our first day at Westbrook, they were out of control. I could have dug a hole in the ground, crawled in and cried. Because that wasn't an option, Jake and I just looked at each other and, without words, asked each other who in the world these kids belonged to. They could not be our kids!

Watching them struggle is the hardest thing for me as their mom because I just want to fix it. What can I do to make this better for them? What am I doing that is helping or hurting them? And then, because I'm their mom, I get that mom guilt. I feel guilty for moving them. I feel guilty for pulling Cole out of school when it was so obvious that was where he was thriving the most. I feel guilty he's not getting that stimulation and socialization anymore. I feel guilty that I haven't spent a ton of time with them lately because there has been so much packing and then unpacking to do. I feel guilty that I get impatient with them when they get into boxes and things even though I know they're just curious. I feel guilty that I haven't taken the time to talk to them about all of these big changes. Ahhh!!!!! The list goes on and on. Basically, I've just decided to spend as much one on one time with them these next couple of days that I can. So far, we've played dress up, we sang and danced together, we've read books and Cole has read to me. And our day has gone unbelievably better so far.

Jake and I are working on our family motto/mission statement/beliefs. Whatever you want to call it, that's what we're working on. There are some very key things I want to be included in there but not so many that it gets overwhelming. If anyone has done this and has some suggestions, we welcome them! I'll be sure to post about it once we've got it put together. I just want our kids to always have a firm foundation about what our family is all about...what we stand for and what we work hard to uphold. I want it to be something they can be proud of and something they want to strive for. I am working really hard to make our parenting and our family values intentional instead of just getting through our days. If this is what God has called me to, this is what I need to pour myself into, right? After all, these are only my kids for a little while but they're His forever. I need to make sure I'm giving Him and them my very best. It's a lot of work, but what isn't a lot of work that reaps a great reward in the end?

Last, but not least, I'm sad to report that I am officially the mother of no babies. Laina is growing before my eyes and as hard as I try to freeze time and keep her just this way for just a little bit longer, it just isn't working. The older kids remind me often that she is a "tawd-wer" and I hate to say that they are so right...she is very quickly filling her crib and talking in sentences and eating with a fork and spoon. I couldn't wait for Cole and the girls to grasp these concepts but her? I just want to keep her squishy cheeks and sweet snuggles forever. She just fell asleep in my arms before lunch and I sang and rocked her to sleep. Those moments happen fewer and farther between and I cherish every one. Some day she won't want to sit on my lap or she'll just outgrow it entirely. Some day she won't carry around her blankie or ask for her paci. It's funny how a fluffy, pink cloth and the sound of her sucking on her pacifier can soothe me too. I want to remember this as one of the joys of motherhood that often gets lost in the hustle and bustle of every day. Today was just a great moment of stopping and resting with my baby...my toddler.

I love this picture of Laina and Maurah. For some reason, I never get good pictures of Maurah which is so sad because that girl is so stinking gorgeous. So this was a real treat to have them together. Aren't they just beautiful?

Hopefully I will get some pictures of the house up soon. I've got other happenings to catch up on too, like three birthday parties and then trying to do some Easter traditions with the kids. If I don't post before though, have a happy Easter!

Absent

2011-04-07T21:06:00.000-05:00

I haven't been writing here because I've been working on this site HERE. Click it and check out my new passion! It's a work in progress and a very scary thing to put "out there" but I wanted those of you who check this blog on a regular basis to know that I haven't left it in the dust. :)

And then stay tuned because the Mannes are in for LOTS of changes and I'll be sure to fill you in on them all in the coming weeks!

My 15 Minutes with the Birthday Boy

2011-03-26T15:34:00.000-05:00

Dear Cole,

Today is your birthday! So far, it hasn't been what we've planned for quite some time now. While we were supposed to have your humongo Star Wars party, we had to reschedule because we've had a sick house this last week or so. So, while we were waiting to have cake and ice cream for your "family party" today, you and I went downtown and did a mini-photo shoot. It only lasted about five minutes, which seems pretty fitting, doesn't it? In your defense, it was soooo cold! But I love these pictures of you and how they capture you and your personality, right now, at this awesome age of

And while we're at it, here are my top five favorite things about you:

1. I love that you are a boy who loves routine. I mean, LOVES it. Every morning, I know that you will request a bagel with cream cheese and a chocolate milk. Every night before bed, regardless of how much past your bedtime we're up, you request a story before going to sleep. And while my sleepy eyes feel like it's a bit too much to give in to since you usually have school the next day, how can I resist a request like that?

2. I absolutely, positively love having you read to me. It blows me away how you just grasp the idea of letters and sounds and how they all work together. I'm pretty sure you've read every single one of your birthday cards to us this year rather than the other way around. Your favorite books right now are Dr. Seuss books and I thought it was so cool to see your 4th grade reading buddy read you an entire collection of Dr. Seuss' works in your class the other day. It totally "fit" you.

3. While we're on the subject of reading, I love how you've been reading to the girls. It is the sweetest thing I've seen you all do together and I hope it continues for years to come. I will never tire of you three, sitting on a little couch with a sheet over your heads, in your own make-shift fort and reading them Dora story after Dora story. What a great big brother you are!

4. I love watching you wrestle with Dad, knowing the bond you two are building together. Your laugh is infectious and your moves are getting really good! It's especially fun to see your sense of humor shine through in your playtime and goofing around. You make us laugh so much!

5. I love when you tell me you love me out of the blue. Just today, driving into the city, you said this when nothing really prompted it. You have no idea how much that means to me. It's one thing to say I love you in response to someone. It's a whole other thing to be the first to say it. I love when you're the first.

Cole, you bring so much joy to our family. You are the caring big brother that I am so proud your sisters have. You are a loving, respectful son who enjoys having tons of fun with us. And most of all, your heart for Jesus is just growing and flourishing. The questions you ask me blow my mind and I love that you want to know more...know who He is and how He loves.

I never called myself a mom until you came along and my world totally changed. You are my little man growing into such a big boy and it's undeniable that you are definitely not my baby anymore...the way your legs dangle past my knees when I try to carry you proves that!

Aside from your dad, you are the most important guy in my life. I love you!!!!

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mom

Maurah Kate

2011-03-18T13:03:00.002-05:00

Dear Maurah Kate,

Today is a day to celebrate you! I cannot believe that you are 3 years old already! You are such a gift to have in our family and you bring so much love to all of us! Here are three things I'm loving about you right now:

1. I love how you take care of everyone...if Laina is crying, you bring her blankie to her. If I need something, you are the first to come and help me. Even if it's a complete stranger of a child crying in the store, you are concerned. Your heart for people is so tender and loving.

2. I love how you wear your pink Dora sunglasses wherever you go, no matter what you're doing...even to go to the bathroom! It is so cute when you push them up on your head, holding your hair back and you look like a little lady.

3. I love your voice. It is somewhat deep and very raspy...when you say words, they are so adorable! I really hope your voice stays like this forever.

4. I love how you hug me at night, patting my back so gently...some days I think I need your hugs more than you need mine!

(Okay, I couldn't limit myself to three...)

You are my Baby A, my Maurah-Bora, my little Bear. I love you! Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

Love,
Mom

Hayden Charis

2011-03-18T12:57:00.003-05:00

Dear Hayden,

You are 3! You have grown and learned so much in this last year. You add such a light to our family and bring joy beyond belief. Here are three things I love about you right now:

1. I love how you always remind us to do our "happy parts and sad parts" at supper. There isn't a night we don't share how our day went with each other because you are so interested in everyone's day...or, at least, in sharing yours. :)

2. I love how you pray! You are so sincere and genuine in your prayers and I just know your little voice speaking into God's ears brings even more joy to Him than it does to me.

3. I love, love, LOVE how you ask to watch your "sick movie" (the slideshow I made of you and Maurah in the hospital) and how you sing David Crowder's "How He Loves Us" at the top of your lungs. Three years ago today, this is a moment I never thought I would see.

4. I love your love for music and dancing! One of my favorite things you say to me is, "Mommy, when I'm in the movie do I get to sing and dance?" You've got rhythm and excitement for life like no 3 year-old I've ever seen and it makes me so happy to watch you!

(And I couldn't limit myself to three...again...)

I love you, Baby B, my Badies and my sweet, brown-eyed girl! Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mom

Some Days

2011-03-02T12:10:00.000-06:00

Some days, I don't wake up filled to the brim with patience.

Some days, I don't get a shower until right before dinner, when Jake comes home from work and the day is pretty much over.

Some days, my bedroom floor is SO covered with laundry that I can't even walk in it without very strategically planning my steps.

Some days, the rest of my house follows the pattern of my bedroom, only with toys instead of clothes...well, some clothes might be strewn in there.

Some days, I think, "If I have to wipe down this highchair one more time..." or "If I have to go in there and tell them it's bedtime and to go to sleep one more time...".

Some days, I feel like I can't possibly handle this task of motherhood...homemaker...wife. I'm not keeping up with it all and I feel like one of the balls that I'm constantly trying to catch is going to drop, break and I will fail miserably at what I've been called to do.

Today is one of those days.

But then I'm reminded...

Every day is filled with God's grace...and this tired momma is so thankful for that today.

Valentine's Eve

2011-02-25T12:12:00.001-06:00

I forgot to post these before my last post.

This was the sky on Sunday night as the sun went down, the night before Valentine's Day (and just a side note that these are completely unedited...God doesn't need my help making things more beautiful :):

Isn't it incredible? Did you see the little cross that shines on the top two pictures?

This reminded me that God's love is the greatest love ever given...and the best love we can ever receive. It's stretches farther than this sky, is more vibrant than these blinding colors and fills any need we have, if we allow it to.

For me, it's a blessing and a treasure to know that the One who pursues my heart every moment of every day can make skies that are gray at times look like this. I can't wait to see what He will do with this tired, insecure, imperfect girl when He comes back. What a beautiful day of forever love that will be!

This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we're called children of God!

1 John 3:16-20, 1

I LOV*E You

2011-02-25T11:47:00.000-06:00

First off, I want to say thank you to so many of you who have sent Facebook messages, emails or words through my mom :) to let me know that you enjoy this blog. The message I keep hearing is, "Don't stop writing!" Well, while I have stepped away from writing before, I'm not planning on doing it any time again soon. I may not have a post on here every day but this has been the best place for me to journal our family moments and my crazy thoughts on life so you can be sure I'll keep on writing. Although, let's be real - you really love this blog because of the adorable children whose faces adorn it! I can't say I can argue with that. But just so you know, even though pictures come first...

I am so thankful for your sweet comments and love you right back!

Now! On to LOTS of pictures that have to do with a day devoted to L*O*V*E!

Our family "heart attacked" our house to get in the mood for Valentine's Day. Each of us wrote something we love about every person in our family on a heart and we hung them on our cupboards. These are a few of my favorites:

Jake was being a smart-aleck and wasn't writing a heart for me. I was a bit upset since I wrote a heart for him and thought it only fair to get one from my one true love. But then I woke up in the morning to this:

If that doesn't make your heart melt, then you are made of stone. Just saying.

You can be sure I'll be taking all of our hearts down and putting them in a scrapbook! It will be so fun to do this year after year and to see how the kids change with each other, don't you think?

We had our first official shot at making a Valentine mailbox for the school party and I'm here to tell you that we failed. Miserably! I would like to contend that it should be put in the newsletter that making a mailbox isn't just making a mailbox. It's an all-out war between parents on who is the most creative. From Star Wars to Spongebob to Spiderman, there were pieces of art mailboxes all around. And Cole showed up with his construction paper and markered football mailbox.

While he wasn't too upset, I knew the truth. Thank goodness there's always next year...and that preschoolers don't choose their friends based on the parents' performance...that doesn't happen till at least 1st grade, right?

Cole had his Valentine's party at school and I was able to be there because my great and just all around incredible friend, Stacie, watched the kids for me. To say thanks, I got some great shots of her son, Will, too. And if you haven't heard much about Will, that means you haven't talked with Cole. Will is Cole's very.best.friend.

Ever.

It's going to be a sad day when we have to move (more on that later).

But this was a day for sugar and cards and L*O*V*E!

Enjoy this sequence of what I call "Fine, I'll stand here and smile for you" pictures.

Cole told me he "liked-ed" the cookies :)

The class played this game similar to a cake walk but when the music stopped, the kids had to find a heart and hug whoever was on the heart with them, sharing that L*O*V*E. It was SO cute!

I love the look on this little girl's face...she obviously was NOT a fan of being on the same heart with a boy.

This one is blurry but I love the boys' faces in it...Cole made sure never to be with a girl...which sort of makes this momma happy. :)

Only one heart left means a HUGE class group hug!

See the little girl sitting next to Cole? That's his first-ever crush. He told me he thinks she's pretty and nice and he likes her because she is little...which I'm not sure exactly what that means. I really think she's the only girl in his class who doesn't boss him around and he likes that! And I'm okay with it because she sang me "The B-I-B-L-E" one day when I was volunteering. She is just the sweetest thing.

Will was SO excited there was not only cards but CANDY in his mailbox too! His expressions were hilarious.

One last shot of best friends...can you tell it was painful? We really need to work on not saying "cheese" for pictures. Oh well...you may not be able to feel the love toward my camera and me, but there's definitely love between these two buddies!

Where I Live

2011-02-05T13:20:00.000-06:00

This morning, our sunrise looked like this and I just had to take a picture.

Doesn't it look like God's majesty blanketing the sky? I love His beauty that He shares with us.

Food for Thought

2011-02-02T07:20:00.002-06:00

First off, I love Francis Chan.

I mean, really love him. I tell Jake that if ever I were going to have an idol in life, Francis Chan would be it.

If you've never heard of him, you should check him out. He's written this

and this

for adults and has taken both of these books and put them into the form of these children's books:

and

We've read both of these to our kids and they love them.

And now I love him because he's challenged me with this. Take a look. Just some food for thought on this cold, snowy morning. :)

Clutter

2011-01-28T14:18:00.001-06:00

It's easy for me to look around and feel like we are constantly bombarded with clutter. Jake will be the first to tell you that I have a clutter-ridding freak-out at least twice a month. All of the sudden, the things that are around drive me crazy and I go on a rant and rave about how things have a place. So why are the things not in their places?

This morning, though, I looked around and realized that you can tell a lot about people by what is on their shelves and tables. Or maybe you can just tell a lot about me from what is on my shelves and tables...because I'm sure you don't have clutter like we do. I'm sure your home sparkles always just like mine does...when you visit. :)

Well, here is a big reveal. The ugliness of the "keeping it real" mantra I've kept on this blog. Ready? Here we go!

This is our end table that probably shouldn't have nearly as many things on it as it does. It includes my coffee cup from this morning, one of Jake's books on church leadership, the air purifier I took from Laina since she was playing near the outlet it was plugged in, my lens cap which I continually tend to lose, my phone, our lamp, a brush from doing the girls' hair and a picture of my very favorite almost 16 month-old.

Here is our entertainment center. If you were to visit, the top would be completely cleared but for a small layer of orange scented Pledge dusting the top.

Taking a closer look, you'll see diaper cream used for Laina's diaper rash that we just cannot beat, hairspray (again, from doing the girls' hair) and pink nail polish from painting the twins' nails the other day. All of this flanking Jake's and my wedding picture...pretty symbolic, huh?

And on this end, we find a vacuum hose (taken away from a child who used it as a weapon) next to a Bible and some dvds, Sunday school papers the kids did in their class at church, a tissue from wiping four snotty noses, my necklace I had to take off from Laina grabbing it, a tiny Lego flower that Laina had in her mouth, a See 'n Say that was taken because of children fighting over it and a flash drive with pictures on it that I have been procrastinating in putting into the computer.

All of these things are surrounded by - what else? - children's books and dvds...which are actually pretty organized today!

What I fail to remember when I get stressed out by the clutter is why we have clutter. Every piece of these messes has something in common. The messes come from people, six of them to be sure, who are living life and living it well. Some day, there won't be hairspray out in the living room because I won't be doing three little girls' hair in front of the TV. I'll only have my own to do.

There won't be toys scattered about, whether for playtime or if the toys are in time-out themselves.

There won't be bright pink nail polish because the fingers that wore the playful colors will mature into fingers that adorn reds and maroons...and there won't be a hint of sparkles in them.

While I know that the messes will still get to me, it's good for me to step back and be thankful about them once in a while because they won't always be here. The thought of living in a perfectly manicured, well-kept house already makes me sad because I know what I'll be missing. So for now, I'm choosing to love these little messes. They won't be around for long, just like the little hands who make them. And those are eight little hands I love so so much.

Documenting

2011-01-21T07:00:00.002-06:00

It seems like all the Manne family is doing lately is going down memory lane with all of our videos and such. In my defense, I've actually had this post as a work in progress for quite some time. If it feels like a repeat, I apologize. Actually, I don't. This is my blog, after all. :)

I've just been thinking lately how I love that we document things like holidays and birthdays, big moments like our babies' dedications, etc., but I want to remember the "just doing" of our days. The things that would probably slip by and I would never remember if I didn't document them here. I have kept a journal for quite some time but now I'm finding this blog to be an easier place to keep these treasured memories.

Things I'd love my future self to remember from me now:

Cole wakes up every morning and has the same breakfast - a bagel with cream cheese and a chocolate milk. He asks to have it in the living room every single morning and every single morning, I say that it's okay.

To get Cole to school, I lug out the double stroller with Laina in the front, one of the twins in the back and the other twin riding on the basket in the back while I push. We are such a sight walking into that school! I am so thankful to the sweet parents who see me out of breath and push that lovely blue handicap button so we can get inside without getting smushed in the door.

Cole has been complaining every time I ask him to push the blue button that saves my life, "But Mommy, we're not handicapped!" True...but somedays with that load, it feels as if we are.

Maurah and Hayden ask where Cole is every single time we've just dropped him off in his class.

I love how Hayden says, "Duh nudder" for another. "Mommy, may I hab duh nudder kwa-cka?"

Laina is going to sleep without bottles! Hooray for teeth that aren't rotting! Now to get her to give up that pacifier...

Cole read his first book to me the other day. Dr. Seuss' Hop on Pop. My stomach flips and flops with the excitement of what this new achievement is bringing into our lives. I love that he loves to read so much.

Jake works very early mornings at the factory in Rockford and comes home exhausted most days. I'm so thankful for the work he's doing in our "in between" time here. The job is such a blessing and is providing for all of our needs. I'm so thankful God has worked in this and so thankful to have friends/family who set us up with this job.

Laina gives the sweetest kisses now and has also taken the word "mine" as her motto. She is growing up so quickly and I can't help but want to freeze time so she can stay this way for at least another three years.

I cannot stand when the girls don't go to sleep at bedtime but another part of me loves the fact that they giggle and tell each other silly things. You can almost feel the bonding happening when they do this and I love that.

We've been doing our Daily Heart Reports and our Acts of Service charts and the flow of the house seems to be going much smoother. The kids love both of these. Now, if only their mom could be more consistent with them...

Blow drying the girls' hair every night after baths has become a fun thing for the females in the house. Even Laina lines up to get her locks blown dry before bed. I love them just sitting on my lap, still as can be, each of us relaxed and just loving the soothing sound of the dryer as we cuddle a bit.

Maurah has been giving me hugs each night when I pray with her. She opens her arms wide and then pats my back. It is the sweetest thing ever.

I love brushing the kids' teeth. Isn't that strange? I get the weirdest satisfaction out of it. I need to get out more.

We have banned fruit snacks at our house and, while I thought WWIII would break out right in our kitchen, the kids have been really great about having fruits, vegetables and crackers for snacks. They have even started asking me what's healthy and what's not and I love that they're getting this awareness at such a young age.

On the flip side, the jelly bean dispenser Cole got for his birthday a couple of years ago is doing us no good. Laina walks up to it, points and says, "Mine?" in the sweetest little voice. She knows exactly what she's doing and exactly how to get her way with me...and so then I'm dolling out Jelly Bellys for everyone. I'm such a sucker.

Jake makes me coffee every morning so that when I wake up, all I have to do is push the button. It's incredible and I love him deeply for it. Making coffee should be a love language.

I'm wanting to get back into the habit of doing Family Night Fridays like we used to do. I am missing them a ton! Maybe that's one of my late resolutions for 2011?

These next eight months are the last eight months I will have Cole home with me at all during the day. Can you tell I'm already dreading this? Kindergarten this fall...trying to savor all of this time while we have it!

Maurah is potty trained and Hayden is not...another thing that has got to happen in 2011! Here's to hoping 2012 can be a diaper free year!

Maurah refuses to wear any underwear that aren't pink, I have to sneak her Little Mermaid socks away from her to wash them, and we have to have her Dora jammies, sunglasses, slippers and headband if those are the jammies she chooses to wear. Missing just one of those accessories will.not.do.

Cole still loves to sit on my lap and snuggle. I pray the day never comes that he outgrows this.

I love watching Laina push her baby around in her stroller. She'll bring her to me and say "Baby" in her sweet, mama-like voice.

Speaking of "mamas," Maurah brings Laina her pacifier and blanket every time she's crying. I love that about her.

Jake and I spend most evenings just being together, catching up on our favorite shows - Parenthood, Modern Family, and The Biggest Loser.

Both of the twins are really into puzzle building right now. This is a really fun stage because I could build puzzles with them all day...it's a calm, quiet activity. :)

I think that's it for right now. This is a pretty exhaustive list which is why I know for a fact that I wouldn't remember these things. I think I'm going to try and do this every six months or so just to keep a record of the "everydays" of life...celebrating the every day ordinary like I originally wanted this blog to be about.

The Best Gift

2011-01-20T05:41:00.002-06:00

So, the other night when I had had such a bad day - no, not the one I wrote about - the one I had only two days later (sad but true)...

Picture me ~~going~~, ~~making a trip,~~ storming out grocery shopping (and that's not for dramatic effect, it's actually pretty accurate (again - sad but true)) and leaving Jake and the kids behind. It was one of those "Quick! I need air!" days for me. Hence the leaving as soon as Jake got home from his long day at work.

Poor guy.

But this is what I woke up to this morning. He had this gift displayed on the computer screen, awaiting my groggy eyes and smelly morning breath. I got teary. I got happy. I got so thankful.

Because while I was traipsing up and down aisles of canned veggies and sugary cereals the other night, this is what my man was doing for me:

Isn't he so great?!? Ladies, don't you just want to smooch him right now?!? I know I do! I love how much he knows me and I love how perfect the timing was for him to give this to me. I woke up this morning, needing a huge hug...and he gave me so much more.

I'm so thankful for all of your comments and emails that encouraged me, letting me know that flying off the handle once in a while is such a normal thing. I absolutely don't want to make a habit of it but to know how so many of you have loved your children and raised them so well and now knowing that you've made these same mistakes...well, it's nice to be in good company.

But I have to say, this video right here shows that I'm in the best company every single day. These five people make my life what it is. Crazy, chaotic, stressful or not - I am so thankful.

I have a beautiful family filled with love for each other.

Like I said...best gift ever.

So Far...

2011-01-19T09:34:00.002-06:00

Just so you don't think that every day in January has been as bad as my last post, I wanted to do a quick update on what we've been up to. Without further adieu, here's our 2011 so far:

We have been wearing our pajamas backwards,

played rousing games of peek-a-boo

and squeezed our sisters so tightly, their eyes pop out.

We spent a sick New Year's Eve at home BUT had a great time because we got to eat brownies IN the living room ON the couch...very big deal!

Can you tell how thrilled we were? ;)

New Year's Day, we built puzzles with Dale

and snuggled in tight with Donna during their visit.

We got to meet the cutest puppy EVER


Which resulted in some of the cutest MOMENTS ever...quick...who's got a puppy for us? :)

Jake humored his wife by letting me take his picture...

Good thing Laina's around...she's always up for humoring me with photo shoots!

We've been reading books in diaper boxes...the story just comes more alive in this setting!

We've gotten to hang with "Miss Hollywood"

and boogied down many an evening before bed.

We've chewed on puzzle pieces

and Tinkerbell's legs...apparently we're teething.

We've made silly faces,

(Pardon the runny noses)

Pirate faces,

and given sweet smiles.

We've tapped into our inner Transformer

and pleased our mom by using the Christmas gift she got us for hours and hours.

We've also enjoyed kissing the cheeks on this sweet baby! What could be more fun than that?!?

Hope your New Year has started off as pleasant as ours has!

Freedom

2011-01-14T10:28:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was not a good day.

Well, let's be honest. Yesterday was a horrid day.

If I had pulled my hair out, I would be bald now. Probably not even have eyebrows.

The kids and I did not see eye to eye pretty much all day. I quickly vented in a journal and prayer when they were in their beds, refusing to take their naps. I journal very honestly and at the end of my prayer, I felt like things would go better.

Wrong.

Actually, things got even worse. The whining, the tantrums, the interruptions, the yelling...like I said, not a day I'd want to have company over.

Last night, I started toward bed, totally defeated about my day. The impatience, unkind words and frustration swirling around my memory, almost taunting me of how horrible of a mother I had been that day. How do I let these little ones get the best of me some days? Why can't I just be better?

I just happened to open up an old Bible study I started who only knows how long ago and never finished. I thought, "Well, I guess I'll give it a try again" and went at it. It had me going through Galatians 5 and, wouldn't you know, everything this passage of Scripture said was just for me at just that time. I knew so well then that I hadn't "happened" upon anything but that God had placed this in my lap right when I needed it.

Galatians 5 is all about the freedom that we have in Christ and that we don't need to keep ourselves in bondage to old behaviors or attitudes. It spoke of the issue at the time: circumcised vs. uncircumcised and living by grace. Paul wrote in there that to try and follow the Law was an act of the people falling away from grace. This is not a statement that they were losing their salvation but, instead, that following the Law was refusing the grace that Christ so freely gives us. We are rejecting the freedom, the power of living in His Spirit and we try and attain righteousness on our own.

I find it particularly hard to live in the Spirit's power. My flesh is so strong sometimes...most of the time...and it drives me crazy. I wrote in my prayer yesterday that I would just love for my heart and my flesh to be united for once. My journey through motherhood would look much different than it does now if that were the case.

Patience would abound, my lap would always be full, I'd never get tired of being touched (insert sympathy for my husband here), my words would be sweet and my behaviors would not react to others' behavior but would be in response to the Spirit's leading instead. In all things, I could find it joy.

The thing is, I try so hard to be this way and it just never lasts long.

God provided an answer for that too. At the end of my study, the author writes,

"I find it interesting that God's remedy to living in bondage to the flesh is not trying harder to get our act together, but instead to seek more intimacy with the Father and walking more closely in the Spirit."

I just think this is perfect. Basically, I'm trying to live by the Law, if you will, trying to do it all on my own and get my act together. Instead, I should just spend more time with the Father, recognizing that the more I'm with Him, the more He'll rub off on me and shine through me...without me having to make a conscious effort to not blow my top off.

Today has been a much better day. But even in a prayer I just uttered, thanking God for how this day has gone, I automatically said, "If I could just be more patient like this every day...I need to work on that."

I stopped. That's not the answer.

So I changed it to, "I just need to keep in constant touch with You so that I can love my kids with the very best of me each day." The thing is, somedays I have a lot to give and other days I don't have much. But the Spirit is always ready to fill and overflow. If I can just keep in step with Him, I'll never have to go to sleep at night thinking of how I short-changed my kids that day.

I'm always amazed at how easy God makes things and how difficult we make them. He just wants us to come to Him every time, regardless of the situation. How easily we forget that Jesus gives us all the answers we need!

Recap on Wisconsin Trip

2011-01-11T18:24:00.001-06:00

This past weekend, I asked for prayers for Jake and I as we traveled to America's Dairyland to see if God might be leading us there for further ministry.

All I can say is, holy cow. (Ha! Dairyland...cow...no pun intended, but that's funny!)

The weekend was incredible.

As in, meeting a group of strangers should never feel as comfortable as it felt. It was like hanging out with friends all weekend.

Isn't the best how just the common thread of knowing Christ can bring people together so quickly?

We met with many, many people and felt at home with almost every one of them.

On Sunday, Jake spoke to a mix of middle school and high school students along with parents and some youth leaders. I love watching him teach. It's so obvious that this is what God called him to. I love just basking in that fact as he interacts with students.

God used Jake's teaching to touch these kids, even just in this first time. We were told that a young girl struggling with anorexia said she was inspired. Another middle school girl came up to Jake afterward and said that she could actually understand what he was saying and that she was interested the whole time...and that she listened to Led Zeppelin on the way to church (which bonded she and Jake since he had just said that was one of the bands on his Ipod. So cute. :))

He also had parents and leaders say it was a message that hit home for them. I just smiled when they were surprised at this, knowing that leaders who have worked with Jake tend to look forward to his messages.

It's not the praise of Jake that is being received, but the gift of the Spirit working in him and empowering him in this area of teaching the Word. It never gets old or boring to see.

Jake is making one more trip the second week in February to teach the middle and high school students again and also to appear before the elders for a more formal interview.

Right now, we're the ones they want. And we want them too. So badly.

In my last post on this, I said that I was praying for our "forever home". Honestly, I really believe God is leading us there and that is just freaking exciting!

If you wouldn't mind continuing with us in this journey through prayer, that would be so awesome. It's scary to think of moving again, pulling Cole out of school, starting him in a new school, making new friends, etc. But it's all worth it when I think of this one word:

Home.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-10T10:25:00.000-06:00

Untitled from Megan Manne on Vimeo.

Off to Wisconsin

2011-01-08T14:20:00.000-06:00

The house is eerily quiet except for the rocking out of David Crowder and the swishing of the washing machine.

The kids are at my parents' and are staying there this weekend while Jake and I head to Hartland, Wisconsin to candidate at a church there.

I am praying so hard for God's will. I'm praying that God's will is this. It all seems so great from a distance and I'm praying that it really is how it appears.

Would you mind praying for us this weekend? I'm hopeful that we've finally found our "forever home"...or at least our "10-15 years home."

Thanks for all of you who read this and who keep us in your prayers. You've helped me become a deep believer in the power of prayer!

Dear Laina Rose,

2010-12-29T11:08:00.000-06:00

I want to remember you just this way at just this time. Everything about you is so much fun. If I could freeze time with you, I would choose now.

I love how you wake up and I hear you saying, "Mama".

I love how you play peek-a-boo with Dad over my shoulder.

I love how you play peek-a-boo all by yourself and smack your head silly covering up your eyes. Not one of us is able to keep a straight face when you do this!

I love, love, love when you lay your head on my shoulder and give me a sweet snuggle. Makes my day every time.

I love how you scrunch your nose when you smile.

I love how your eyes so easily sparkle.

I love how you dance to music and sing "Buzz Buzz."

I love singing "Lida Rose" to you from the Music Man, inserting your name instead. You have no idea what I'm doing but someday I hope you think it's special.

I love watching you with other kids. You are not the least bit intimidated by anyone, no matter their size. Your friendly personality is contagious.

I just love holding you and squishing you as tightly as I can. As hard as I try to not think of you as my baby, you are. And I'm sorry to tell you that this probably won't go away soon. I already tear up thinking of you starting school someday and not being home with me all day. So just be prepared for when you're 16 and want to drive and date. It's not going to be an easy time for either of us!

But for now, this is you and I love the now with you.

Love,
Mom

5 Things...

2010-12-29T10:00:00.000-06:00

Here are five things I want to be sure and remember about this Christmas:

1. Reading a devotion with the kids first thing Christmas morning and instilling the real meaning of Christmas in their hearts.

2. The way Laina's eyes twinkled in the Christmas lights.

3. How every one of our kids did a super job waiting for their turn to open presents and said thank you to each gift-giver. I couldn't have been more proud.

4. This look on Hayden's face as she opened her "Tinka-bell"!

5. How the words to "O Holy Night" took on an even deeper meaning to me this year and how I want my New Year's Resolution to be that I "fall on my knees" every day in 2011 because my soul has "felt its worth" since He appeared. I pray that you have received this incredible gift too.

I hope you and your families have had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

2010-12-21T07:00:00.000-06:00

Just in case you haven't made your cookies for Santa yet, here is my very.favorite.ever sugar cookie recipe. I just made up a batch for the kids and I to decorate tomorrow. We have to be prepared when the big guy makes his appearance at our place Friday night!

Christmas Eve Cookies

1 cup butter/margarine

3/4 cup sugar

1 egg

2 1/2 cup sifted flour

1/4 tsp. salt

2 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. vanilla

Cream butter with sugar until fluffy. Beat in egg. Dump in the flour, salt and baking powder and mix well. Stir in vanilla and mix even better than before. Cover and chill 1 hour. Roll out on floured board and cut with cookie cutters. Bake on ungreased sheet at 400 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

We always make some vanilla frosting and decorate according to our shapes. Seriously, these things are so EASY which is one of my favorite parts about them. Another favorite part is eating the dough....I could probably eat the entire bowl before I even baked the cookies! This recipe is from my Grandma's church cookbooks. In my opinion, church cookbooks are the very best place to find yummy recipes, don't you think?

So don't read any further....Go! Make some cookies for Santa! And if Santa just so happens to be you, well, enjoy!!

Photo Shoot

2010-12-20T11:55:00.002-06:00

These two are

Trouble

Courageous

Beautiful

Sneaky

Fighters

Talkative

Independent

Outgoing

Dramatic

Stylish

Funny

My girls

Man, I love these two.

Well, this won't do much good....

2010-12-13T05:36:00.000-06:00

Jake went out before church yesterday to fire up the snow blower for the first time in, well, a few years, actually. The only problem was, the snow blower did not want to fire up! So Jake, being the great guy that he is, decided he would shovel our drive. The good, old fashioned, get blisters on your hands even though you have gloves on chore of shoveling. The only problem with that was this:

About two shovels of the heavy snow and the darn thing broke. I guess we weren't in the market for a clear driveway yesterday...or today for that matter! We are home from school today on our first snow day of the year! I don't know about you, but I'm always thankful for a good snow day where we can all just bundle up together. It just makes the day feel a little more special and fun sometimes!

Prayers Answered!

2010-12-10T13:11:00.001-06:00

Well, friends, it's been a long time! I am happy to report that I am back in the land of the Internet!

Woohoo!!!

Jake and I have moved into a nice little home in Sparta, the next town over from good ol' K.C., and have been prepping our home for holiday fun ever since we stepped in the door. I have been praying so hard for a place of our own since Jake's parents so graciously allowed us to live with them. I have to be honest, though...we bring a lot of loot with us since we have four little ones and a lot of time, our "loot" can be in the form of some pretty awesome tantrums. It is NOT easy being consistent and dealing with those things in someone else's home. So now, we're all cozy in our little house where I can allow "screaming it out" galore! Ha!

Boy, has it been a crazy few months. My last post was a sincerely sad one about my friend Amy. Three weeks later, we got a call from a former student of ours, saying that another dear friend had passed away. This news was devastating. Our friend, Larry, is "Miss Donna's" husband, and dad to one of my best friends and favorite students. We spent the week with the Krygiers and are so thankful that my parents could watch the kids so we could have that time with them.

A couple more weeks later, my dad was in a very scary car accident. Thankfully, everyone was okay but there was definitely concern to be had. I sat in my in-laws' backyard and cried so hard. All of this tragedy, Jake not hearing anything on a job front and other surprising events happening in loved ones' lives around us - it was a time that I started to doubt God. Not His existence, but whether His plan really was perfect. Why wasn't He moving the way we needed Him to? Was Jake being punished for stepping away from the ministry position he had? Would we ever be in ministry again? Would these hearts, so aching, ever be mended?

Of course, God always proves that He is never-changing, never-failing, and always perfect. He's always working behind the scenes. While we see a dry desert before us, He sees every grain of sand and how they are all pieced together.

Jake and I had come to a point where we could depend on no one else but God. I think - no, I know - God really likes it that way. We knew we had to get into our own place by December 6th for family reasons (which you'll see in a moment). Check out what's happened just in this last week:

Would you believe that He gave us a home on December 5th?! We fit perfectly in our 3-bed ranch!
Jake began working at a factory on the 6th as a temporary job. He was pretty much guaranteed to only have a week of work. We were nervous about what would happen in January when we had no income. THEN - Jake was given at least one more week of work and most likely two!
Jake received a call and some emails from a few different churches who are interested in him! We were really wondering how long it would be before we'd be back in full-time ministry - a passion and love we just can't be rid of! We are super excited to see where all of this goes.

God is so great. He does always provide RIGHT when we need it. He knows so much better than we do what is best for us. I seem to need this reminder constantly. Could you please join with us in praying for a couple of things?

Jake also has a couple of tests to take for a job with the city of Grand Rapids which will more than cover all of our monthly bills! Please pray that he passes these tests and it's the Lord's will for him to have this job. We would know that we would be financially secure for the next few months then....although, depending on the Lord to provide for our daily needs is a pretty exciting adventure. :)
That the kids would adjust well to their new home. So far, they're loving it but we still need to settle in a bit more. I am really praying that having our own place will allow us a bit more consistency with them and that I can find a good routine for all of us again. These last few days have been a bit tricky.
Please pray that something might work out with one of these churches. One in particular is incredibly attractive to us and they are being so supportive with us wanting to stay here until Cole finishes his school year. This particular church is in the Milwaukee area. While we don't want to be far away from family again, we are really missing serving God through full-time ministry and pray that our wait won't be long.

Here is our newest blessing that came on December 6th, just as planned! My sister-in-law, Emily, and her husband, Matt, had their firstborn son, Jameson Matthew Teesdale!

I'm so happy for them! I am thrilled beyond measure that we live close to them now so we can snuggle this little guy as often as we want.

And Cole is loving that he has another boy cousin!

Isn't he just precious? Congratulations, Emily and Matt!!

Hope and Loss

2010-10-15T13:01:00.002-05:00

Two nights ago, I lost a dear friend. I met Amy when I was 18 and she was 26. Her husband had just been hired as the worship pastor at the church I had just started attending with Jake. Shortly after they moved here, Amy was diagnosed with breast cancer. I really didn't know her that well, but knew that I wanted to/was able to help in some way and I started babysitting for their little one year-old, Katelyn, while Amy and Josh went to her appointments. Who knew at that time what she would become for me?

Seven years later, I'm in the hospital with the twins who are about to come early at 24 weeks. The fear and worry that encased me was paramount. In the midst of doctors and medicines and everyone's well wishes from afar, I was drowning in the idea of losing my babies and the grief that would ensue. I shut down. Right or wrong, I felt like no one I knew understood what I was feeling so I would keep it all to myself instead.

Enter Amy.

Amy delivered her twin girls early and even lost one of them right away. When she found out what was going on with us three hours away, she started emailing me almost every day. She was the one person I felt I could be myself with. Many of my emails would have been tear-stained had they been on paper. Many were venting. Many were filled with jokes and fun crafts to occupy my time in the hospital. Some of those craft ideas I used in the girls' nursery. She wrote me ahead of time, letting me know what to expect once the twins were born, how I could bond with them and that everything I was feeling was normal. I can't tell you how nice that was when I felt I had to play a part for the many other people that pranced around saying, "I know they'll be fine" when I felt like a failure for even having them here so early in the first place!

Amy inspired me to write. The whole reason I even have this blog is because of Amy. She gave me the idea to write about what was happening and then even designed my blog about the twins. I am so thankful to her for being my earthly rock during that time. I could confide in her like no one else at the time, even Jake. She was there, encouraging and lighting the way with her love and support for the both of us. She understood how your marriage takes a hard hit when stress levels hit the ceiling. She understood the depression that comes after your babies are born too early and you can't bond with them. She understood the helplessness and helped turn it into hopefulness. She really is such a huge part of me making it through that time, not only in one piece, but better than I was before. God used her greatly.

The incredible thing is, I know she did this for so many people besides me. In her almost nine years of fighting cancer, she gave hope and love to so many. Whether it was through her circle of friends who were also battling cancer, the other pastor's wives in the church, or just a bunch of us watching her from afar as her faith remained strong through it all.

One of the last times I got together with Amy was in Illinois at a Best Brands Resale. We met at the Starbucks by her hotel and had such a great visit laughing at funny stories about our kids and talking about food and shopping. It was so lighthearted and carefree and just...wonderful.

We will miss her here and I ask for prayers for her husband and especially her two little girls. They will miss their mommy for sure. I'm so thankful for the truth that she is in Heaven and is completely cancer free now. It's been a battle she has been fighting for so long and now she can reign victorious with Jesus. Praise God.

Lull

2010-10-14T12:31:00.001-05:00

Okay, so who knew that we were already in the middle of October? Seriously! Where in the world is the time going?

My writing has been a little lacking, wouldn't you say? And it isn't for lack of things going on in life that I'm not putting pen to paper....or fingers to keys. Quite the contrary. I have so many different things on my mind, it's CHOOSING what to write about that's the problem.

I've read that the key to a successful blog is to be consistent in posting and even to post ahead so that you're planned out and have interesting things for people to consider throughout their day. Obviously, I'm not in the market for having a "successful" blog. I am, however, keeping it real and sticking to my original purpose for writing, which is trying to keep in touch. It used to be keeping in touch with family and now it's keeping in touch with whomever is "out there". But it's also become a place to keep in touch with who is right here...me.

It's easy to fall into comfort here and when you're in comfort, you don't often stop to notice what's happening around you - or inside of you. I picture it like slinking into a large, soft, feather-full duvet where I just close my eyes and fall asleep to anything outside of myself. Yeah, some days are like that.

Then, other days are so filled with emotion and reality that I don't know what to deal with first and I'm spinning around and around on a ride much like the one Jake affectionately calls the Tilt-a-Hurl. It's not pretty.

Balance.

I'm looking for some balance and hoping that if I spew out everything happening here, I will be able to find some rhythms in life again.

So just a warning: I can pretty much guarantee that the next few postings will be anything but pretty and most likely anything but insightful. They will probably mean nothing to anyone but myself. I encourage you that, if you're bored, just walk away. But, if you're kooky like me and like to see what other people's REAL lives are like, read on! We can make my solo therapy session a group therapy!

I just had a friend post on Facebook that if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. I love that. I guess that would be my interesting thought for the day....although stolen, it's filled with hope. And I've been needing some hope.

Two Little Monkeys

2010-09-22T08:52:00.000-05:00

While the brother is away...

...the sisters will climb!

Maurah and Hayden have found a new fascination at their Grandpa and Grandma's...TREES!

The last couple of days, while Cole was at school and the girls were getting cabin fever, we've taken them outside and have been climbing trees. The first day, only Hayden was really interested in climbing.

(Ugh...this picture makes me think of senior pictures...I do NOT want to go there.)

Maurah did for a little bit but I think just so she wasn't outdone by her little sister. We started on this tree...a very sturdy, yet very mild form of tree.

It's near impossible for them to go much higher than this, which this momma really likes. Then, I walked outside yesterday to find them in this gargantuan of a tree!

Of course it was their dad who introduced this big fella to them! They were having the time of their lives! Maurah was just as much into it as Hayden and, in fact, climbed up the highest all by herself!

It was so fun to be taking these pictures of them.

Again, senior portrait worthy. These have GOT to stop!

I think their smiles tell it all, don't you? Who knew all the fun we were missing out on by not having a yard at our last house? Note to self: next house MUST have trees.

Have a happy go-monkey day!

Cole's First Day of Preschool!

2010-09-14T10:56:00.000-05:00

Cole's first day went great. Neither of us cried...I was so proud of BOTH of us! He was such a brave little man. I can't believe we've started the school stage. I said to Jake yesterday, "Do you realize that we will be a part of school for at least the next 18 years starting today?" Craziness. Here are some of our first day memories...

Winning the Race

2010-09-13T11:12:00.001-05:00

We've had some bad days. While the move did go well like I posted earlier, we have had some bad days. Not terrible, but not too pleasant either. There are lots of tantrums, screaming, arguing, hitting, hair pulling and whining. I realize this comes with the territory of having two two year-olds and a four year-old but I'm also noticing a pattern.

The other day Cole had to be at his school at 9 A.M. for his preschool open house. I dropped the twins off with his mom (just one of the perks of her working at the school!) and then rushed Cole and Laina to the elementary to be on time. I wanted to be "The Mom." You know, the one who has everything perfectly organized, her child perfectly groomed...and then you throw in my love for and experience in the classroom and I think I've got this role of "The Mom" made. I'm a shoe-in!

Yeah.

What happened instead was me not getting all of us out the door in time, forgetting to wipe Cole's face from his cinnamon toast breakfast, putting his important medical form in my purse with Laina's uncapped bottle, only to have it leak all over my cell phone, wallet and melting that medical form to sticky shreds. In the midst of yelling at Cole while he threw a fit that he didn't get to play on the playground like the twins, holding the door to the kids' bedroom shut with Maurah having an outrageous tantrum on the other side and multiple other little events that could mirror both of these images I've portrayed, I came across this post and I realized that I'm not "The Mom." I'm "That Mom." "That Mom" is the one that's always rushing because she never leaves herself enough time. "That Mom" is always checking off her list but nothing ever seems to get accomplished. "That Mom" can get overwhelmed at the littlest of things. "That Mom" is forgetful and one of the biggest things she forgets is how her kids need her. I never wanted to be "That Mom."

I'm realizing that a lot of my kids' negative behaviors are a result of a behavior either Jake or I have shown them or the fact that I don't leave enough room in my schedule...a.k.a. my LIFE...to just love on my kids. When the fighting happens, I'm typically not in the room. When the tantrums happen, we're usually hurrying somewhere or other. When my kids throw fits at the word "no", it's probably because I've used it an awful lot that day. I realize they're selfish too and want what they want when they want it....but mostly, it's me choosing to want other things over time on the floor, engaging in their worlds. How hard is it to eat a delicious meal the girls have made in their kitchen set? Or to build a fun city with Cole's blocks? Or to sing songs and dance silly with Laina in tow? You would think that sounds more fun than checking off a cleaning list, wouldn't you?

This is one of my favorite pictures of Hayden. It's a little blurry but I still love it. Jake had just gotten done building this robot with Cole and the girls and they were all so proud of the time and effort they took to make him together.

How crazy to think that moments like these can be had whenever a list is completed. I may not be "The Mom" and, while I'm sure there will be many times that I'll be "That Mom," the most important thing is that I'm their mom...and I want to be a mom who really was there.

Life in the Mitten State

2010-09-11T11:46:00.000-05:00

We are here! Officially Michiganders again.

The move went incredibly well. We are all settling in and meeting up with old friends and family members we haven't seen very much these last four years. All in all, this is the very best place for us to be. Of course, it's not the ideal situation to move four little kids and two adults in with their parents but it has worked out so well, I just know that God's hand was in our moving here. Jake's parents have been so accommodating and pretty much moved all of their furniture out so we could bombard them with our clothes and toys of every sort.

We have kept very busy already in just our first week here. We had lots of meetings to get Cole signed up and ready for preschool (Monday is his first day!), we've attended football games and the fall carnival and Jake was in Ohio all day yesterday for a job interview. The meeting went really well and they're already down to the job being between Jake and one other guy. We should know next Monday if they're pursuing just him or not. Of course, in the middle of his interview, another church in Three Rivers called him, wanting to take their interviewing process with him further too. When it rains, it pours!

Could you please pray for us to have clarity in all of these decisions? I almost wrote to pray that the church in Ohio would work out (and, if I'm honest, this is what we really want) but I know that ultimately we want God's will. We always tell our kids that God's will is better than anything we could want, even if it doesn't seem that attractive from the get-go. I'm trying to keep that perspective now myself. It's funny how it's easy to "teach" something and much harder to really learn it, isn't it? So, any prayers for God's will in our lives are greatly appreciated and so coveted!

Also, if you could keep our kids in your prayers, I couldn't be more grateful. Every once in a while, we notice how they're struggling with our move a bit. Whether it's praying for our "old" blue house, asking for friends, or just acting out in general, it's obvious they're in a stage of adjustment. I'm a bit leery of moving again for this very reason. We're just getting them settled only to uproot them again? I worry especially about Cole with all of the newness happening in his life...a new home, a new town, new friends, new school, new church...it's hard to watch him sometimes.

I keep reminding myself that God is not just my God or just Jake's God. My God is Father to all of us, including my children. He loves them more than I could ever imagine to and He has a plan for them in all of this too. The question isn't just, "Where is God leading Jake and Megan?" but "Where is God leading Cole, Maurah, Hayden and Laina too?" After all, He knows who their friends will be, what school they'll attend, etc. He's got it all under control! I forget and tend to want to control those things myself for them.

We're on a journey, that's for certain. It will be exciting to see just how God moves in all of this. For now, we're treating this time as a sabbatical to just enjoy our family, make some good routines and habits and love on each other like we haven't really focused on doing in a very long time. There's a certain kind of freedom we have now to do these things. It's like a breath of fresh air. I'm looking at this time as a time to treasure. I don't know when/if I'll ever have days with Jake home all of the time again and, already, our full days at home with all of the kids are coming to an end. God is using this season to bring something great out of it for our family, I just know it. Thanks for being a part of our journey!

3 Seams & Laina's Birthday

2010-08-28T23:24:00.000-05:00

I have the most exciting news!

We are teaming up with Inga over at '3seams' to raise money for her wonderful ministry! First of all, if you haven't ever heard of '3seams', you must go over and read about it RIGHT NOW! It's such a wonderful idea! I told Inga that I love how God is so amazing, He gifts us with talents and passions and then is able to use those special gifts - whatever they are - to spur on His love and His grace to others.

So, here's the deal. For Laina's first birthday party, we will be asking for no gifts since she has the 1 year-old world at her fingertips, thanks to three older siblings. Instead, we're asking for donations to support '3seams'.

What's even MORE exciting is that Laina will be wearing the dress that Inga has made for her at her birthday party. She will be so cute!

What's BEYOND EVEN THAT exciting is that Inga is making a trip to Haiti on September 16th and will have the duplicate dress that she gives to a little girl there which means that we will have the picture of this precious girl by Laina's birthday and will get to celebrate her too!

I'm beyond giddy. I really thought this wouldn't work out for some reason or another. I also thought that I might end up talking to some customer representative from the company or something, so when Inga emailed me back and shared with me how excited she was to make this happen, my soul went soaring.

Even with all of the chaos happening in our lives right now, we are planning on doing a much larger party than usual in order to get as much money as we can to support this great cause. You can donate too! If you would like to be a part of this and give Laina a birthday present that will make a difference in the world, please let me know! Either email me or leave a note in the comments section that you would like me to contact you with info on how to do it. Of course, you can always go to the '3seams' website too!

Please pray for us in these next coming weeks that God will move hearts to give generously so we can make a change and bless the children and the families of Haiti!

More Love

2010-08-27T21:06:00.000-05:00

I cannot get enough of this baby. I know I'm biased but I truly think she is the cutest baby ever born. Well....ever born in the year of 2009. There are some other pretty cute kids born in 2006 & 2008 that I know of. However, this little bug of mine takes the cake on modeling. I could sit and look at her all day. And then, as if the real thing wasn't great enough, I could sit and edit photos of her all night. She melts me with just one look of her gray/green eyes and when she says "Mama"....it's all over from there. I love her.

Summer Loves

2010-08-26T14:46:00.000-05:00

I've just been writing and writing lately and pretty much none of it has been about any of my favorite moments of summer! Here are some pictures for you non-Facebook friends of mine (and because Facebook's quality of photos is so crummy) and also for those who turn to the blog for all of the pertinent info.....like the cuteness of our kids! And, yes, I'm really speaking to you, Grandma Janet! :)

Uncertainties

2010-08-25T14:07:00.000-05:00

I have been so blessed by the world of blogs. In the last couple of weeks, I've had two blogs in particular speak into my life with the exact words I've needed to hear, at the exact time I needed to hear them.

Another change has come into our lives. At this point, I'm wondering why I'm still shocked when this happens. As of 7:30 PM yesterday, we are moving to Michigan to live with Jake's parents during this time of transition. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. Will there be a ton of adjustment for all of us? You'd better believe it. I think six extra people living anywhere is an adjustment, especially when four out of the six are under the age of five! Is this the best thing for our family? I really believe so.

Without being too dramatic, this is a day that I am a complete ball of emotions. I swing from one end of the pendulum to the other.

I'm excited about being by family and friends we haven't been around for four years BUT I'm sad to say goodbye to people who we love here.

I'm ready for Cole to start school and looking forward to that new chapter in our lives BUT I'm scared he won't get into the preschool I'm wanting and then what do we do?

I'm ready to be a part of our old home church and dive back into the ministries and small groups with people we know and love BUT we've been gone a long time and the church has changed. What if we don't fit right in again?

I'm excited to spend time with friends like the "old days" BUT they still have their lives and jobs that have continued since these last four years and I don't want to be the needy friend who wants to get together all of the time.

I love Michigan and everyone there so much that I know this in between time will be wonderful BUT will it be so wonderful that I'll be devastated having to leave it again?

We are wandering in the desert. We don't know where we're going. The age old question we all ask ourselves at some point or another is pressing on my heart so forcefully. Where do I belong? And, I'll add, that Satan is quick to jump on this insecurity of mine and magnify it all the more.

This is where the land of blogs comes in to play. On Angie's blog, she writes of how God knows us and knows what we need. We don't need to give Him an entire rundown of what is happening in our lives and what we so desperately desire for Him to do. I love how she uses the example that she knew when her daughter was crying that she needed her lamb and pacifier. She knew this because she knows her.

As a mom, I resonated with this story because there are so many times that I've known what my children need without them even telling me. We've all experienced this in some way or another, right? And if that's the case, how much more does my Heavenly Father know what I need? Angie's blog post brought me so much comfort just in the reminder that God DOES know before a word is even on my lips. He knows my innermost cries - even the ones I wouldn't share with anyone else. Seriously, you have to check out her blog if you get a chance. It's beautiful and I've learned so much. Can you tell I want you to go there since I'm linking to it so much?!?

Again today, after my great insecurities kept rolling in my mind and I was fighting to keep them at bay, I came across the latest post on Beth Moore's blog. Her daughter, Amanda, wrote on stepping away from ministry to concentrate more on her family. She mentioned Satan's lies of how she wouldn't be important any more now that she wasn't working full-time. This is exactly what is running through my head! "You won't fit anywhere. No one has time for you. You have nothing to offer now." Ah! It's excruciating. It's one of those things where I know I know I know that they are lies and that I have to put my focus back on God but it's a constant struggle.

The end of Amanda's post said this: "I know that many of you reading this are desperate for your situation – whatever that may be – to change. Please know that when you cry out to the Lord, He hears you! He knows what you are going through. He is your Shepherd and He cares for you. Pray, pray, pray. First Peter 5:7-8 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (NIV) I am asking God to show you His love, power and care right now."

I am desperate, but God hears me! I may feel alone, but He knows me! He WILL lift us up in due time...this gives me such peace. I know in my heart of hearts that God's timing is perfect and mine is not. That His ways are great and mine are like chaff. I am clinging to my Father and casting all of my cares upon Him. I am praying this will be a great time of growth in our dependence on Him.

He is my hope.

Thankfulness

2010-08-17T13:24:00.000-05:00

I think we're okay.

In fact, I know we're okay.

Thanks to all of you who commented or sent me a message on Facebook or an email. This blog is my main outlet for the realness of our life and I can't tell you how much it means to get your encouragement, support and prayers.

Sunday went pretty well, actually. Well, as well as you can expect when you completely stun over 400 people with the news that you will no longer be an active part of their lives in three weeks. I am thankful that I was able to pull aside Sarah, one of my girls from my small group, to tell her in private. We cried and cried but she was so incredibly understanding. And - get this - she actually said to me, "You have been teaching me to follow God no matter where He leads for the last 4 years so if you didn't do that now, what you've taught me would be completely hypocritical." Inside, I was giddy she said this. All I had wanted was this and I wrote about it here. The sweetness of God answering that prayer for me through her words was almost too much. I started bawling all over again.

Tomorrow night is our fall kick-off for youth group and I couldn't be more excited just to be surrounded by these high schoolers who have been one of the biggest parts of my life for the last four years. The memories are countless and their lives are so precious to me. Yes, even the kid that burps so loudly, you hear him on the opposite end of the church (and no, I'm not making him up. He's got a name and I'm thinking of him right now!). Right now, for me, that's love speak. Yep. I'm sick. I've got it bad.

Aside from that, we're just continuing to pray. And pray. And pray. It's such a tender balance to wait on God yet take steps of faith. If you do one of those too much, you could completely miss what He's really wanting you to see. So we're stepping gingerly and waiting fiercely.

Sarah was so cute because she said, "Is it wrong for me to not want you to go to another youth group? I feel like we're your kids and you're ours. I don't want you to be anyone else's!" No, Sarah, that's not wrong at all. I am actually feeling the same thing! We'll see where God leads. He's always been faithful and always provided.

Psalm 37:25 - I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.

Thank you, Lord, for your goodness to us. Your love is better than all the riches of the world.