Just Call Me Bozo?

I am entering/have been in this new stage of motherhood called juggling.  What I've come to find out is that I'm not very good at this.  I'm trying to do lots of things that I think are important (example: decluttering house) and am getting swept up in what life is bringing to me instead.  It's causing my plans for the house to fail.  Bomb.  Completely and utterly get thrown out the window.

I suppose that's okay.  At the end of the day, I'd much rather have the good pleasure of knowing that I played with our kids, exposed them to "new" things like the library, going to different parks and doing creative projects than having a clean stove or a closet that looks like no one lives here.

I tried.  I really did.  I tried to care about having the kids' rooms decorated like a Pottery Barn Kids catalog.  I tried to care about organizing their clothes so they are always perfectly folded and perfectly matched.  I tried to care about putting the toys away every single night so we could start "fresh" the next day.  But then it happened.  Our house was very un-fun.  It was in the midst of one of the twins crying at my leg for me to hold her while I was straightening up the living room, that a very uncouth movie line came into my head.  "Frankly Scarlet....".  I dropped the toys and picked her up to give her the snuggle she so desperately wanted.

It's easy at this stage of motherhood to think that these moments will never pass by.  We have four kids four years old and under.  The kids always want me to hold them.  They always want me to serve them.  But reality is, these times will be gone before I know it.  I am working on changing my focus.  I am focusing on my home instead of my house.  Did you catch that?  I think so many of us get into the game of comparing and wanting and thinking that "if only I had this..." then my house would be a home....a comfy home as I like to put it.  But it's just not true.  A home is where you bake cookies and have movie nights.  It's where you laugh and cry and, some days, go plain crazy.  It's where you can feel free to be yourself and to run around and giggle and scream.  A house is just a building.  A home includes the people in it.  A house is featured in a catalog.  A home resides in your heart.

I absolutely believe there is something to keeping organization and structure in a home.  I'm not an advocate for unruliness!  And we do have our own sets of structure and organization in place.  I'm actually going to post on one later.  I just think it's so sad to see homes where children are "seen and not heard."  Homes that don't have signs of the children who live there....toys on the floor, pictures on the walls, jelly on the table....okay, maybe you don't have to have the jelly on the table.  That just seems to be a staple in our home!

I'm committing to giving up my house cleaning and focusing on home building.  As I learn to juggle our new schedules and calendars, the laundry might be overflowing and the shoes might block the perfect path to the front door but our family will be loving.  Our kids will walk in that door and know that this is their sanctuary; a place where they are loved just because they're them.  So, sorry for the raucous I caused in not completing my "marathon."  I guess this clown is running another sort of race.  I'm just praying that I don't trip while trying to hold all of the balls in the air.  With that said, let the tickle fights, Lego building and baby rocking ensue!


Emily said...

Right on Megs!! Excellent post which I know I will be going back to again and again, I think this is a daily struggle for me too! :)

Sara said...

I love it. I'm totally with you. What I've realized is that EVERYONE has "give" somewhere. I have met women I think must be supermoms because their houses are incredibly clean, but then I find out that they never ever cook dinner, or play with the kids, or let their kids do anything other than "play quietly"! I firmly believe no one is a supermom! :-) You absolutely cannot do EVERYTHING - how much better to invest time into kids than into the futile goal of a Pottery Barn house!

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