Today is the day.
I'm sitting in Jake's office and he just left to tell the first service of church that we are leaving. I am shaking with nerves beyond what I thought was possible. I'm more scared of our students finding out next service, while I sit among them, Jake sharing that we are leaving, not just the church, but them.
How will they feel? Will they feel betrayed? Will they be angry or sad? Maybe neither? And really, since we're not moving on to another position, what else can I say besides, "It's time"? How do you explain to someone whose life is so regimented by things they have to do (high school, sports, band, etc.) that sometimes God can lead you to just pick up and move in a different direction? After all, we're so often telling these kids to stay on the course of obeying their parents, honoring God in their school and with their friends...just stay on the course that God has you on, proving your faith along the way.
I realize that in us leaving, we're still staying on "the course." But some days it doesn't feel like it. We are leaving our church with nowhere to go, no job to work, no community to surround us. We are officially wandering in the desert. I am trying so hard to maintain and prove my faith but some moments of panic or sadness get the best of me.
Sometimes when God leads, He just asks you to follow...no questions asked. Sometimes I get angry with this but I know I do this with our kids. "Obey me because I am your mother. You don't need to know why. Do as I say, right away." If I'm "qualified" to say this to my children solely because I am their mom, how much more is my Heavenly Father qualified to say this to me? And how much more does He have our best interest in mind even more than I do for our kids? I know this to be beyondashadowofadoubt true.
But I'm also learning why my little ones cry when I don't give them full reasons...the whys of life. I guess if there's one thing I want to impress on our students then, too, it's to follow God even when you're questioning where He's leading. If you have that beyondashadowofadoubt trust that He is guiding your steps, all you need to do is take them. I hope that, instead of feeling like we've up and left them caught in the middle of a divorce, they can see us as examples of following Him one last time before we go.
Fun with Aperture
Lately, I've been obsessed with editing photos. I sit at the computer every night once the kids are in bed and play around with Aperture 3. I only have the free trial for now but plan on getting it. I only have three days left! I will have to get it. Very. Soon.
All of my blogs in Google Reader have been replaced with photographers around the country. I take at least fifty pictures of the kids every day. I can't tell you how many pictures of my coffee mugs I've taken, practicing lighting and exposures. I get so wrapped up in photos, the hours escape me. I think that Jake has fallen asleep before me the last three out of four nights. This never happens!
Like I said, obsessed.
Obviously, I'm no professional. Right now, I'm just enjoying practicing and playing around with the kids. But someday....someday I just might want to do this as a career. I am in love. Not infatuation, but real, true, love that is food to your soul. I just can't get enough.
Here are a few of my favorites from this summer.
All of my blogs in Google Reader have been replaced with photographers around the country. I take at least fifty pictures of the kids every day. I can't tell you how many pictures of my coffee mugs I've taken, practicing lighting and exposures. I get so wrapped up in photos, the hours escape me. I think that Jake has fallen asleep before me the last three out of four nights. This never happens!
Like I said, obsessed.
Obviously, I'm no professional. Right now, I'm just enjoying practicing and playing around with the kids. But someday....someday I just might want to do this as a career. I am in love. Not infatuation, but real, true, love that is food to your soul. I just can't get enough.
Here are a few of my favorites from this summer.
Colorful Fun
I love this website and have found lots of good ideas to do with the kids. And they've ENJOYED them! This isn't always an easy feat, especially trying to find project ideas to suit both toddlers and a preschooler.
We first read this book, just like she instructed.
This is such a fun project to do with the kids. We now have our rainbows proudly displayed on our front wall so we get a touch of color as soon as we walk in the door. My children's artwork in the house - one of my very favorite things.
A New First
I broke down and gave the girls their first hair cuts a couple of weeks ago. I was so scared that their sweet little curls would disappear on me but they stayed, which I am so thankful for! The only thing I forgot to do was save a lock of their hair. I am so sad. Here are some pictures of all the happenings.
Maurah was first. I could not get the girl to sit still for the life of me! Thankfully, her hair still came out evenly. Sadly, this was the best picture we got of her. She had the wiggles that day!
Hayden, on the other hand, sat very very still and was pretty pensive about the whole thing. She kept repeating, "You cut my hair?" I am so glad she was alright with it. After 2 1/2 years, they may have been very attached!
The after. (I just uploaded this and realized I wasn't completely done editing it. Yet I'm too lazy to go and do it right now. Oops.) I love this picture of the girls, particularly Hayden laughing. It just describes their personalities, especially on this day.
Maurah skipped out on me but I was able to get this one sweet one of Hayden. All things considered, the first haircuts went really well!
Circle Tour - 2010
Friday night, Jake and I went to see Bon Jovi in concert at Soldier Field in Chicago! Our great friends, Kori and Tim, invited us to go with them. How could we refuse? Along with 60,000 other fans, we - well, Kori and I - belted out song after song, all a part of 27 years of the band's music.
27 years, people! That's when I was born!!! I think Jon and I must be connected in some way for that very reason. I'm sure of it.
Here are some pics from the night. I hope they turn out okay since I only had my point-and-shoot.
My favorite part about being at the concert is that Kori has waited for 23 years to see them live. She has a whole story where she had tickets in high school but then wasn't able to go. It was so fun to see her so excited! She couldn't keep a smile off her face. I loved it!
Ah!!!! I love him. Don't worry. Jake knows. He's not concerned about my love for a 48 year-old man. Which, by the way, eww. It's way grosser when he's described that way. Let's just go back to calling him Jon. Or Bon Bon. Yes, he is that cute, he needs a pet name.
Tico, Richie, Jon and David. I've decided Tico looks just like one of the husbands on New Jersey Houswives, Richie needs some help in the style department and David has GOT to change his hair, which he hasn't for the last many decades. Bon Bon is just fine the way he is.
I really can't believe that I've seen Bon Jovi in concert TWICE in my life already! My sister took me for my 16th birthday and that was incredible too! I'm still geeked about it all today.
27 years, people! That's when I was born!!! I think Jon and I must be connected in some way for that very reason. I'm sure of it.
Here are some pics from the night. I hope they turn out okay since I only had my point-and-shoot.
I really can't believe that I've seen Bon Jovi in concert TWICE in my life already! My sister took me for my 16th birthday and that was incredible too! I'm still geeked about it all today.
Just Call Me Bozo?
I am entering/have been in this new stage of motherhood called juggling. What I've come to find out is that I'm not very good at this. I'm trying to do lots of things that I think are important (example: decluttering house) and am getting swept up in what life is bringing to me instead. It's causing my plans for the house to fail. Bomb. Completely and utterly get thrown out the window.
I suppose that's okay. At the end of the day, I'd much rather have the good pleasure of knowing that I played with our kids, exposed them to "new" things like the library, going to different parks and doing creative projects than having a clean stove or a closet that looks like no one lives here.
I tried. I really did. I tried to care about having the kids' rooms decorated like a Pottery Barn Kids catalog. I tried to care about organizing their clothes so they are always perfectly folded and perfectly matched. I tried to care about putting the toys away every single night so we could start "fresh" the next day. But then it happened. Our house was very un-fun. It was in the midst of one of the twins crying at my leg for me to hold her while I was straightening up the living room, that a very uncouth movie line came into my head. "Frankly Scarlet....". I dropped the toys and picked her up to give her the snuggle she so desperately wanted.
It's easy at this stage of motherhood to think that these moments will never pass by. We have four kids four years old and under. The kids always want me to hold them. They always want me to serve them. But reality is, these times will be gone before I know it. I am working on changing my focus. I am focusing on my home instead of my house. Did you catch that? I think so many of us get into the game of comparing and wanting and thinking that "if only I had this..." then my house would be a home....a comfy home as I like to put it. But it's just not true. A home is where you bake cookies and have movie nights. It's where you laugh and cry and, some days, go plain crazy. It's where you can feel free to be yourself and to run around and giggle and scream. A house is just a building. A home includes the people in it. A house is featured in a catalog. A home resides in your heart.
I absolutely believe there is something to keeping organization and structure in a home. I'm not an advocate for unruliness! And we do have our own sets of structure and organization in place. I'm actually going to post on one later. I just think it's so sad to see homes where children are "seen and not heard." Homes that don't have signs of the children who live there....toys on the floor, pictures on the walls, jelly on the table....okay, maybe you don't have to have the jelly on the table. That just seems to be a staple in our home!
I'm committing to giving up my house cleaning and focusing on home building. As I learn to juggle our new schedules and calendars, the laundry might be overflowing and the shoes might block the perfect path to the front door but our family will be loving. Our kids will walk in that door and know that this is their sanctuary; a place where they are loved just because they're them. So, sorry for the raucous I caused in not completing my "marathon." I guess this clown is running another sort of race. I'm just praying that I don't trip while trying to hold all of the balls in the air. With that said, let the tickle fights, Lego building and baby rocking ensue!
I suppose that's okay. At the end of the day, I'd much rather have the good pleasure of knowing that I played with our kids, exposed them to "new" things like the library, going to different parks and doing creative projects than having a clean stove or a closet that looks like no one lives here.
I tried. I really did. I tried to care about having the kids' rooms decorated like a Pottery Barn Kids catalog. I tried to care about organizing their clothes so they are always perfectly folded and perfectly matched. I tried to care about putting the toys away every single night so we could start "fresh" the next day. But then it happened. Our house was very un-fun. It was in the midst of one of the twins crying at my leg for me to hold her while I was straightening up the living room, that a very uncouth movie line came into my head. "Frankly Scarlet....". I dropped the toys and picked her up to give her the snuggle she so desperately wanted.
It's easy at this stage of motherhood to think that these moments will never pass by. We have four kids four years old and under. The kids always want me to hold them. They always want me to serve them. But reality is, these times will be gone before I know it. I am working on changing my focus. I am focusing on my home instead of my house. Did you catch that? I think so many of us get into the game of comparing and wanting and thinking that "if only I had this..." then my house would be a home....a comfy home as I like to put it. But it's just not true. A home is where you bake cookies and have movie nights. It's where you laugh and cry and, some days, go plain crazy. It's where you can feel free to be yourself and to run around and giggle and scream. A house is just a building. A home includes the people in it. A house is featured in a catalog. A home resides in your heart.
I absolutely believe there is something to keeping organization and structure in a home. I'm not an advocate for unruliness! And we do have our own sets of structure and organization in place. I'm actually going to post on one later. I just think it's so sad to see homes where children are "seen and not heard." Homes that don't have signs of the children who live there....toys on the floor, pictures on the walls, jelly on the table....okay, maybe you don't have to have the jelly on the table. That just seems to be a staple in our home!
I'm committing to giving up my house cleaning and focusing on home building. As I learn to juggle our new schedules and calendars, the laundry might be overflowing and the shoes might block the perfect path to the front door but our family will be loving. Our kids will walk in that door and know that this is their sanctuary; a place where they are loved just because they're them. So, sorry for the raucous I caused in not completing my "marathon." I guess this clown is running another sort of race. I'm just praying that I don't trip while trying to hold all of the balls in the air. With that said, let the tickle fights, Lego building and baby rocking ensue!
Lance Armstrong's got nothing on me!
I'm running a marathon!
Well, not really. But I'm conducting my own sort of marathon experiment at home. Marathon as in, cleaning marathon. Considering it's my entire house that needs help, it's more like a triathlon.
It is my intention that every day for the next two weeks, I will work on one room a day, completely deep cleaning and organizing from top to bottom. I've had it. The clutter has got to GO!
I thought about putting in order what rooms I will be doing but I can guarantee that I wouldn't stick to it. The entire reason I'm putting this on the blog is so I can be held accountable to get our house in order! So instead, I'll just tackle the room that is bothering me most when I wake up in the morning.
You might be wondering what your job in this is. Well, bloggy friends, it's to 1) not judge me based on the before pics and 2) just keep reading so I have the motivation to keep going!
I'm working on the girls' room today. Check back tomorrow!
Well, not really. But I'm conducting my own sort of marathon experiment at home. Marathon as in, cleaning marathon. Considering it's my entire house that needs help, it's more like a triathlon.
It is my intention that every day for the next two weeks, I will work on one room a day, completely deep cleaning and organizing from top to bottom. I've had it. The clutter has got to GO!
I thought about putting in order what rooms I will be doing but I can guarantee that I wouldn't stick to it. The entire reason I'm putting this on the blog is so I can be held accountable to get our house in order! So instead, I'll just tackle the room that is bothering me most when I wake up in the morning.
You might be wondering what your job in this is. Well, bloggy friends, it's to 1) not judge me based on the before pics and 2) just keep reading so I have the motivation to keep going!
I'm working on the girls' room today. Check back tomorrow!
target and devotions
For the past few months, we've been trying to do family devotions with our kids every morning. It's a nice way to bring us all together before we each go off in different directions.
Now, before you begin to imagine a lovely, Spirit-filled quiet time with our children, I'd like to remind you that we have four kids under four years old. Not to stomp on your daydreaming but let's head back to reality, okay?
Most of the time, our devotions last 5-10 minutes total. This 5-10 minutes is an eternity for our kids to sit still and focus. So.....who knew that Target's dollar bin would come to our rescue? Right now, they have rugs in cute kids' prints for only $2.50 a pop. $2.50!!!!
The teacher in me knew exactly what to do with this bargain. I snatched a shark for Cole and three elephants for the girls....that's right, Laina gets a rug too! Now, each child has their own space that they MUST sit on while listening to the story for the day. See how that works out?
I must tell you that we still don't have the quietest, most concentrated devotion times. This morning, for instance, Hayden was rolling in her rug and Maurah had to make sure that she was copying Cole's every move, which only egged him on to be sillier.
Still, the rugs are helping us contain ourselves even just the teensiest bit more which makes for a very happy mom and dad. And they still allow us to have fun as evidenced here!
Now, before you begin to imagine a lovely, Spirit-filled quiet time with our children, I'd like to remind you that we have four kids under four years old. Not to stomp on your daydreaming but let's head back to reality, okay?
Most of the time, our devotions last 5-10 minutes total. This 5-10 minutes is an eternity for our kids to sit still and focus. So.....who knew that Target's dollar bin would come to our rescue? Right now, they have rugs in cute kids' prints for only $2.50 a pop. $2.50!!!!
The teacher in me knew exactly what to do with this bargain. I snatched a shark for Cole and three elephants for the girls....that's right, Laina gets a rug too! Now, each child has their own space that they MUST sit on while listening to the story for the day. See how that works out?
Blogs and Beaches
Once again, I got the bloggy designing bug! I just haven't been able to find a crisp, clean looking blog format so it's taken me a while and many attempts to finally get one I'm happy with. However, I have done it! Hold me to this, I am not changing the look of my blog for a very long time! Seriously, hold me to it because three months (okay, weeks) from now, I'll be changing my mind again. Some people change the look of their house...I change the look of my blog. It's quicker and cheaper, which I know my guy is thankful for. I'm sure he's also thankful for the fact that when I'm in the mood for some bright pinks and oranges, he doesn't have to be watching TV in the midst of them! Ha! All of this to say, thanks for not turning away and running every time you see all the changes going on over here!
On another note, we had a beach day this week! Woohoo! Thursday morning, we loaded ourselves into the van, all slathered with SPF 50 and headed to New Buffalo, MI where we spent a glorious afternoon on the most beautiful beach I've been in a long time. The Michigander in me was so happy to be on a finely sanded on the East side of Lake Michigan (sorry to all of my fellow Hoosiers, but our beaches are all filled with rocks!). We were a bit nervous about beaching it because last year this time, it was awful. Hayden didn't like the sand, I was a pregnant whale at six months along amongst bathing beauties and it was hot, hot, hot! Jake isn't usually a fan of the beach either. He says he's just not a sand sort of guy. But this time, friends...this time was wonderful.
It was also a baby book filler as it was Laina's first trip to the beach! Here's our little beach baby in all of her beachy cuteness.
We received many comments on what a sweet family we were. Sometimes I think it's so funny that people assume we're sweet just by looking at us. Although, I guess I understand because, to be honest, I have picked my kids' doctors just by looking at their pictures online. If they look friendly, I decide I like them. So far, it's worked!
Anyway, I think we just ask for a lot of attention with our four little ones in tow. It doesn't hurt that they are incredibly cute either!
It was so wonderful, we're already planning on heading back in the not-too-far future. Our goal is to get our kids to actually go into the lake by the end of summer. For now, it's fun just to let them think they're brave by stepping a little step closer to shore and then running away when a wave breaks.
To cap it off, here are my five most favorite people in the whole world. Aren't they gorgeous?
On another note, we had a beach day this week! Woohoo! Thursday morning, we loaded ourselves into the van, all slathered with SPF 50 and headed to New Buffalo, MI where we spent a glorious afternoon on the most beautiful beach I've been in a long time. The Michigander in me was so happy to be on a finely sanded on the East side of Lake Michigan (sorry to all of my fellow Hoosiers, but our beaches are all filled with rocks!). We were a bit nervous about beaching it because last year this time, it was awful. Hayden didn't like the sand, I was a pregnant whale at six months along amongst bathing beauties and it was hot, hot, hot! Jake isn't usually a fan of the beach either. He says he's just not a sand sort of guy. But this time, friends...this time was wonderful.
Happy Father's Day!!
Today I'm celebrating. I've been given so many great gifts to be thankful for on this Father's Day.
First of all, I'm thankful for him.
My dad. Without him, well, I wouldn't be here. He's the one who passed on his love of teaching to me. He's the one who stayed home from an important meeting to tell me I was worth loving when my middle school boyfriend dumped me for another girl. He's the one who drove me to all of my choir practices and my big-time opera rehearsals. The one who played "beauty shop" with me and let me put barrettes in his hair. He's the one who taught me how a man should love his wife and his family and that I should find a husband who'd do the same.
Then, I'm thankful for him.
He's my Grandpa. He's my Bubba. He's no longer here with me but I think about him every year on this day. After all, we spent the majority of Father's Days at his house, opening presents on the back deck with my Grandma cooking up some yummy food. He was always gentle, patient, a man of few words but lots of love. I miss him.
I'm also thankful for him.
He's my father-in-law. We joke that I'm his favorite daughter-in-law and, though I'm the only one, I still like to be considered his favorite. He's the one who is honest and full of integrity. He's the one who is teaching my son to fish. He's the one who taught another man I love what it means to be a man, to love his wife and his kids and to be devoted to them.
Then, there's this guy.
This guy rocks my world. He's the guy I can't get enough of. He's the guy who was crazy brave enough to have four children in 3 1/2 years with me. The one who brings me coffee every morning while I'm still in bed with the covers over my head.
The one who is willing to hold my purse and the baby in the mall. He's the guy I love to watch turn into a softy with his girls and still ask for kisses from his son. He's the guy who comes home every day and plays with these kids so I can make dinner in peace.
He's the guy I could stay up all night with talking about nothing and everything. The one I love to dance with, to dream with, to fall asleep on his lap while he watches football. The one who listened to his dad about what it means to be a man. I'm happy to say I listened to mine as well. He's the guy I'm proud to call the father of my kids and who is passing on a love for our Heavenly Father to them.
This guy. My guy. I love him.
First of all, I'm thankful for him.
Then, I'm thankful for him.
He's my Grandpa. He's my Bubba. He's no longer here with me but I think about him every year on this day. After all, we spent the majority of Father's Days at his house, opening presents on the back deck with my Grandma cooking up some yummy food. He was always gentle, patient, a man of few words but lots of love. I miss him.
I'm also thankful for him.
Then, there's this guy.
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A New Spark
June also brought with it a somewhat new adventure for Maurah. She joined MainStage Academy of Dance in the winter and showcased her work t...
